Passage of time had become secondary to the pain being inflicted, hours, minutes, day or night, every nerve ending taut with anticipation of the next move, the next vile thought. His teammates' voices had faded into the background as Daniel concentrated on keeping and maintaining control against Wepwawet. In out...in out. Daniel could hear the blood pumping in his ears, feel abused lungs struggling for air. His senses strained with heightened anticipation; Daniel knew the Goa'uld was taking a step closer...the brush of the obscenely ornate robes against Daniel's exposed arm forcing him to pull himself in tighter

"I am in your mind, Dr. Jackson; no matter what you do, I'm with you. With every synapse that is fired, with every beat of your heart...with every breath that you take. As you break...I will move to the next...until your tortured and abused bodies are all that is left. Then and only then will you be returned to the Tau'ri through the Chaapa'ai and I will have succeeded in breaking the mighty SG1

Breathing heavily, sweat and blood dripping from his forehead, Daniel shakily untangled himself, raising up on all fours, and spit in the direction that he hoped the Goa'uld was in. "Kelsha..." he muttered. "You may have taken my body but you will never touch my soul

The cursing of Wepwawet and Jack's 'that's our boy' brought momentary satisfaction to Daniel before the next wave of pain began

"I am your nightmare...among your thoughts...Imagine the feel of the whip on your body." Daniel collapsed face first onto the floor, Wepwawet's counting off as Daniel's body jerked with every impact of the whip across his already raw back

"Step aside Danny. Let it go...please." Jack's voice echoed in his mind. "Let me take your place."

"No...not you...only me...please only me," became his mantra. Keeping the Goa'uld focused on him, buying his teammates, his lover, time before the cavalry from the SGC made an appearance to save the day

Wepwawet kicked Daniel over, the metallic taste of blood filling his mouth as Daniel bit his bottom lip to withhold a moan. Since the torture had begun he refused to acquiesce to the Goa'uld and had remained silent

"I'm done with you Dr. Jackson...you fail to amuse me further." Daniel squirmed as he felt the weight of Wepwawet's foot grind into his chest. "I'm going to move on to my next playmate...whom shall it be? Oh but wait, I can't have you leave without a present can I? I would never want it to be said that the great Wepwawet wasn't an hospitable Goa'uld. Enjoy...Dr. Jackson...a slow and unpleasant way for you to pass to the other side."

Daniel drew a breath, once the pressure of the Goa'uld's foot was removed, but his relief was short lived as his back arched against the new onslaught as an indescribable sensation encompassed his body...tendrils touching veins and arteries down to the cellular level. Traveling up appendages, through his groin, chest...and then nothing

Gasping as the pain released him, his breathing so unsteady and labored, it took him a few minutes to register the sounding of alarms and the clattering of P90s being fired echoing in the hallways of the cement structure

The alarms, the grating sound of the alarms reverberated within Daniel's head, causing a whimper of pain behind his lips. "Shut it off..." he whispered hoarsely. A short burst of laughter, followed by a cough, as he realized how ludicrous his request actually sounded. An alarm...a stupid alarm...a signal of help on the way... was making him do what the Goa'uld torture device couldn't do...plead for mercy

"Please..." he murmured, turning towards the cool hand soothing his hot forehead. "Please, off," he begged

"Wet-behind-the-ears is gone, Danny, SGC to the rescue...you'll be fine.. Just need to get you home to Fraiser," he heard Jack say, callused fingers using surprising gentleness to check Daniel over

"The alarm Jack, turn off the alarm. Please." Daniel slowly inched his hands up to his temples to ...

"Oh God...." Daniel shot up in bed, covered in sweat, his tee shirt sticking to his body, the sheet twisted around his legs. He moaned as the sudden movement intensified the pounding behind his eyes. With shaking hands, he leaned over to switch off the offensive noise emanating from his bedside alarm clock. Cautiously he slid his legs over the side of the bed, willing last night night's dinner not to make a return visit on his bedroom floor. As an experiment, Daniel began to breathe more deeply, filling what seemed to be oxygen deprived lungs with air. Bending from the waist, he rested his elbows on trembling knees, cradling his aching head in cupped hands. "See...a nightmare," he said to no one, the red digital numbers changing time as Daniel whispered soft words of reassurance to his vibrating body and pounding heart. "Nothing more than a nightmare."

Pushing off the bed, he shuffled into the bathroom, peed, and turned on the shower. While waiting for the temperature to adjust, he studied his reflection in the mirror; fingering the area under his eyes, memories of bruises still vivid in his mind. They'd faded now to oblivion; there were no longer any visual signs of Wepwawet's torture left on Daniel's body. "Nope, need x-ray vision for that, Dannyboy," Daniel said to his reflection

Carding his fingers through short, sweat slicked hair, he sighed deeply at the man reflected back at him. There were no answers in those blue eyes, no reason why more nights than not, the Goa'uld would again visit him...now torturing his sleeping body

Jerking open the medicine cabinet, he popped the top off the aspirin bottle, and dry swallowed three. He replaced the bottle, finding its place on the glass shelves, pushing aside the sleeping pills that Janet had prescribed. Daniel wasn't going to let the past mission get to him; he was going to do this without the help of medication...learn to face the demon that had tortured him on his own

* * * * *

The shower and coffee had done him a world of good. Between the healing powers of the aspirin, the warm shower, and very strong coffee, the headache had all but disappeared, taking with it the feeling of helplessness that had been Daniel's companion every morning

The promising warmth of a late spring day began filling his body on the drive to the Mountain. Turning the volume on the radio up, music now blasting, the top down, Daniel exhaled in appreciation as the Thunderbird handled beautifully on this drive along the winding roads. He felt his body relax, releasing for the first time the pent up emotions that he had been withholding since the Goa'uld first turned on the device. This simple release awarded Daniel a sense of freedom as control slowly seemed to seep back into his life

A small smile started, followed by the stark realization that he missed Jack. For the first time since returning from Wepwawet's stronghold, he honestly and truly felt an emptiness ...he missed Jack. The colonel had been a constant presence during Daniel's recovery in the infirmary and the days afterward; but Daniel had shut down. Needing to repair himself before he would be able to turn to Jack for comfort. Daniel thought with despair that Jack had obviously misread Daniel's signals and had begun to distance himself from his lover, sure that Jack believed that Daniel blamed him for their capture and the subsequent torture. Subconsciously Daniel pressed harder on the accelerator, needing to see Jack, and needing Jack to see before they departed on their next mission

* * * * *

Daniel fidgeted on the gurney as Janet finished entering her notes in the clipboard. "Well Daniel, all your tests show appear normal." In a swift motion, before Daniel had a chance to bolt, Janet placed a restraining hand on his chest. "Not so quick."

Eyes shifting to the clock on the infirmary wall, Daniel watched it ticking away the minutes, calculating how long he had to speak to Jack before the mission he had requested, the mission that the General had given the green light, the mission that would be Daniel's first trip through the Stargate in almost six weeks. Not even an overnight jaunt to the planet, a just few hour's visit, just enough for Daniel to get his feet wet before submerging himself back into off-world travel

Janet tossed the board onto the end of the bed, stepping up into Daniel's personal space. "I know what the test results show, but how are you?"

Daniel wanted to give a cursory, "I'm fine," but he remembered waking in the infirmary and being greeted by the vision of a very haggard, tired, Dr. Fraiser. He recalled how she relegated the responsibility of his recovery to only a select few, assisting with even the most mundane patient care. He remembered her shaking hands and the apparent joy in her voice when he awoke after being in the throes of the residual effects of Wepwawet's virtual reality weapon

"Jack, Sam...Teal'c?" he had managed to inquire through fever-parched lips

Janet had laid her hand on his forehead before answering his question. "I banished them to get some sleep. They're fine Daniel...just worried about you. We all were worried about you."

"Dead again? Was I dead?"

Gently spooning ice chips into Daniel's mouth, she smiled at his question. Clearing his throat, he reiterated the question. "Was I dead?"

"Close, but no cigar this time. Not that you didn't try."

Daniel remembered fighting to keep his eyes opened as Janet had explained the injuries he had received at the hand of Wepwawet. While she had checked his vitals, Janet had kept up the flow of words, touching on the viral memory that had been implanted in his mind, the delirium, and roller coaster ride of fevers his body had endured as a result of that weapon

Janet's hand on his arm brought him back to the present. "You haven't answered me Daniel. How are you feeling?"

Janet deserved honesty and today Daniel could tell her without lying, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he felt good. Janet was seesawing accepting that answer until Daniel smiled at her and she looked into eyes that didn't lie

She picked up the chart, patting him on the arm with the cool metal. "Go...get outta here. You better be upright when you return from P4W-555 or..."

"Or what?" Daniel asked as he jumped off the gurney heading for the exit

"Or you'll have to answer to me, Dr. Jackson," she yelled after his departing back

* * * * *

"Now?" Jack asked. "You need to see me now? This is a really an inopportune time...we ship out in..." checking his watch, he sighed in exasperation. "...in 30 minutes Daniel, on a mission that you begged, lectured, and power pointed the hell outta us for. Don't tell me you are reconsid..."

"I need to speak to you, Jack," Daniel answered succinctly, hoping that Jack wasn't going to make him beg for an audience

Jack stood, stamping his boots on the locker room floor, tucking in his shirt

Daniel's eyes traveled the length of his lover's body, cursed the timing, wishing he had 24 hours and 30 minutes to show Jack how sorely he missed him. He closed his eyes against a flow of very visual images where the two men's actions spoke louder than their words, mentally berating his stubbornness in not allowing Jack help him put the pieces of his shattered psyche back, not letting him into his life, into his arms, or into Daniel's bed during his recovery. In the flash of a second, he could feel the heat of hating Jack flushing his face, for not forcing the issue with him

His eyes flew open as a persistent tug on his arm brought Daniel back to reality. Daniel turned towards Jack, unable to hide the smoldering desire apparent in the depths of his eyes

Never releasing Daniel's arm, Jack glanced furtively around the deserted locker room. "Now?" he hissed. "Oh, Daniel," Jack said softly, his hand sliding up and down Daniel's arm. "I thought I...I thought we were..."

Goosebumps as Jack's fingers began a teasing dance on the exposed warmth of Daniel's arm. An involuntary shudder ran through his body as he softly issued an apology. "I'm stupid...so stupid. Habit, I turned you away because..."

Jack squeezed his arm ,"Why ,Daniel? I need to know why."

"Failure, fear...faced with my own mortality. I survive best by myself."

Jack's fingers tightened around Daniel's arm. "And I survive best with you, Daniel." Each finger loosened their hold before Jack mumbled, "I know it wasn't me that Wepwawet tortured...but damn it Daniel...it sure felt like it."

Daniel averted his head, swallowing audibly, the warmth of the day becoming a distant memory. "But it wasn't you...was it? I survived the torture alone...I thought I could pick up the pieces by myself."

"That's the way you wanted it Daniel...you wanted solitude...I gave you what you wanted." Jack tried desperately but failed to keep the anger from his voice

"I was wrong, Jack, and you were wrong to give me what I wanted," Daniel whispered. "Damn it! Why did you choose this one time to listen to me?" He lifted his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose before continuing. "I'm sorry I didn't remember how important your place in my life is...I'm sorry we leave within minutes..." Clear blue eyes scrutinized the face of the man he loved. "I'm sorry I didn't realize how much I missed you Jack and how much I need you. Missed you and need you," he softly reiterated

In the drabness of the locker room the two men faced each other, close but not touching, SGC regulations prohibited the type of touching that was running through their minds. Jack rocked from leg to leg with nervous tension. "I so want to jump your bones right at this moment, Dr. Jackson."

A burst of laughter flew from Daniel's mouth. "Trust you to say the right thing in a tense moment, Colonel." Daniel checked his watch. "Gonna have to hold that thought Jack..."

"Wasn't exactly that thought I was thinking of holding..." he answered Daniel with a wink

Daniel adjusted his suddenly too tight BDU's, resisting the urge to point as Jack did the same. He felt a sense of completeness in his world, hoping that maybe the UAV lied, that there would be no temple on that planet, and that SG1 would be back before the mission started

* * * * *

The temple was visible from the platform that the ancient circle stood upon; a fairly short walk, Daniel's enthusiasm increasing exponentially with each step in the temple's direction

All thoughts of Jack jumping his bones dissipated as Daniel stood before the temple. Daniel could feel the tolerant acceptance of his teammates as they split to cover their respective jobs. Teal'c and Sam went to collect soil and local fauna samples. Reminding them to check in at 20 minute intervals, Jack checked the perimeter of the temple while Daniel moved closer, occupying his time with tracings and rubbings of the raised pictographs lining the doorway

Jack walked the perimeter twice, radioing Daniel more times than was necessary. Daniel barely held his annoyance in check when he heard Jack approach him

Folding the tracings carefully, he placed them in his backpack and then slung the heavy bag over his shoulders. "Can I go play now, Jack?" Daniel questioned sarcastically, canting his head towards the temple opening. "Are you done making sure the playground is safe for me?"

"Daniel," Jack said menacingly. "Safe for you is tying you up to the bed and never letting you see the light of day."

Wagging his eyebrows at Jack, Daniel tried to hold in a smirk and failed. "Propositioning me, Colonel?"

Daniel watched Jack check his watch. "Hold that thought for about three hours 20 minutes, give or take debriefing, showers, and a visit to Fraiser." Jack stepped ahead of Daniel instructing his lover to watch his six as they entered the temple. Daniel opened and shut his mouth audibly as Jack fixed him with a warning glance. "No smart remarks, oh linguist of mine."

Daniel followed Jack into the coolness of the dim interior of the temple, his eyes darting all around, more intent on studying the pictographs that lined the walls than to the safety of his surroundings. The interior of the temple was no bigger than 18 feet in diameter with two marble altars in the center. Daniel rotated 360 degrees before dropping his backpack onto the dirt floor. Crouching, already mumbling to himself, planning...he unzipped and removed the video camera and notebook from the confines of the backpack. Standing, adjusting the camera to the lighting, Daniel smiled as Jack stepped towards him, having already completed his rotation

"Um...not exactly the Pepsi Center here. Think I'll wait outside while you play, a little too claustrophobic for my tastes. There's no light..."

"That's okay, Jack. I'll be fine; you go sit outside and I'll play like a good boy." Daniel placed his free hand on Jack's shoulder, pushing and guiding him to the entrance. His time in this treasure trove was severely limited due to Fraiser's restrictions, and having Jack in this enclosed space so near to him would be detrimental to his getting any work accomplished

Daniel flipped on his radio when he heard Jack calling his name. "Daniel, I'm right outside, I'm just a radio page away."

"Jack, in reality you are a whisper away. Enjoy the fresh air, let you mind wander, and if you interrupt me again or distract me in the less than 3 hours I have left...you will be sleeping on the couch for many a night. Goodbye." Daniel didn't give Jack a chance to respond before he switched off his radio. He picked up where he'd left off, examination of the inscriptions in the wall not five feet from the marble altars

* * * * *

Daniel sat up straight, unsure of his unfamiliar surroundings. Jack's voice cut through his fog, calling his name, something about time being up. Looking down, it registered that he was sitting on a cool bench...the marble altar...in a temple...he had been examining the inscriptions. The video camera was hanging from his limp right arm, his notebook opened on the floor between his legs

"Coming Jack," he answered, hearing his commanding officer call his name again. He bent to pick up the notebook and was overcome with a horrific sense of dizziness. Scooping up his notes, he sat breathing heavily, willing control back into his body before he tried standing again

Jack's loud voice reverberated within in the walls of the temple; he stood at the entrance tapping his watch. "Now...come on. Fraiser will have our hides if we don't return exactly on time with you." Daniel gave Jack a wan smile, which Jack returned before again pointing at his watch face. "Now, Daniel."

Daniel walked over to his backpack stuffing his notebook and camera into their appropriate sections and preceded Jack out of the temple. He slammed his eyes shut in the brilliance of the afternoon sun, pulling himself up so short that Jack bumped into him. Daniel felt Jack grip his arm to steady both their bodies' forward motion

"Okay, Daniel?"

"Ummm...fine...bright after the darkness."

"Glasses?"

"Wearing them."

"I'm talking about your sunglasses."

"Oh..." he blinked a few times, feeling his eyes adjusting. "No, it's okay now."

"Let's go...Carter and Teal'c are going to meet up with us at the gate."

Daniel trudged next to Jack listening and responding in the appropriate places, wishing they would hurry their pace along, wanting to put as much distance between the temple and himself as possible. He was relieved to see that Sam had spotted them and begun to dial the glyphs for home. From his vantage point, Daniel saw her hit the center jewel, the Stargate spring to life, and she raised her arm to enter their IDC

"Come on Daniel..." Jack said, grabbing his arm. "Let's head for home...there's some unfinished business we have to attend to."

Jack stirred his bowl of vegetable soup, not really hungry but knowing that Fraiser probably had spies ready to report on his eating habits. The commissary was nearly empty in mid afternoon. He watched one of the cooks fill the big coffee makers and swallowed hard. His own coffee sat untouched and cold. Carter was in her lab working on taking Wepwawet's device apart yet again. Teal'c was assisting her, providing what knowledge he had of the Goa'uld. And Daniel, well, Daniel was still lying unconscious in the infirmary. Because he needed to get something, anything, inside him, Jack took a spoonful of soup, mentally berating himself

He should have listened to the niggling voice that had told him Daniel wasn't ready to go through the Gate. He should have demanded that Fraiser do more tests. He should have never let SG-1 be captured by Wepwawet in the first place

His stomach doing another flip flop, Jack placed the spoon back on the tray and studied the pack of crackers there wondering if he could force it down. He decided against the effort and glanced at his watch. Thirty-six hours. Could it really only be thirty-six hours since they'd come back through the Gate from P4W-555?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"Get a move on, Daniel." Jack finished tying his boots. "Debriefing's in ten."

Daniel sat with his hands hanging loosely between his legs, staring at his shoes

"Jack?"

"Yes, Daniel." Jack gave him a look of long suffering patience. All he wanted was to get the debriefing over with and head home, hopefully with Daniel following behind him

"Never mind."

"Well, c'mon then." Jack shook his head and pointed. "Daniel, shoes. I don't want you tripping over your shoelaces."

Daniel's eyes followed Jack's pointing index finger

"Danny?" Jack felt alarm bells going off as Daniel stared puzzled at the laces. "You okay?" The hand he placed on Daniel's shoulder answered the question, heat pouring through Daniel's shirt. He kept his voice calm. "Okay, we're just going to take a little side trip to the infirmary."Placing his hand under Daniel's elbow, Jack urged him to stand

"Jack?" Daniel asked again, his eyes moving from Jack and back to his shoes

"Don't worry about it," Jack said and knelt down to tie Daniel's shoelaces

"I should know how to do that, right? Right?" Daniel looked at him in panic

"It's okay, Daniel. Let's get going." He urged Daniel towards the locker room doors

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Everything after that seemed to happen in that strange mixture of slow motion and fast forward that occurred in a time of crisis. They hadn't quite made it to the infirmary, Daniel collapsing by the elevators. The fever and delirium Daniel experienced after his run in with Wepwawet's device returned with a vengeance and although the fever had broken after twenty four hours, Daniel was still sleeping, exhausted from his latest bout with the viral memory

"Colonel O'Neill?" Jack startled out of his light doze. He looked at the orderly standing by the table, unable to remember the man. His mouth was dry and his heart pounded in his ears as the young man spoke. "Doctor Fraiser would like you to come to the infirmary ASAP."

The soup was forgotten as Jack took off for the infirmary at a near run

"Doc?" Jack reached out his hands to steady the nurse he nearly knocked over. "Daniel?"

Doctor Fraiser held a clipboard close to her chest, her eyes fixed on his

"Sir, Doctor Jackson is awake." Jack let out a whoosh of breath before he realized that Janet wasn't smiling at the news

The hope he'd first felt at her words plummeted somewhere to the vicinity of the floor. "Doc, what's wrong? Daniel's awake. That's good news, right?"

"Let's go in my office to discuss..."

Jack cut her off with a short choppy motion of his hand. "Spill it, Doc."

She studied the clipboard a moment. Jack could see her taking deep breaths before she looked back up at him. "Sir, it appears that..." She shook her head, starting over. "We have to do some tests to get more information, but it appears that Doctor Jackson suffered some brain damage."

It was one of those moments that Jack would always remember, along with the moment when the doctors at the hospital told them that there was nothing they could do for Charlie. He had the same punched-in-the-gut feeling, the same knowledge that somehow once again he'd hurt and failed someone he loved, the same belief that somehow he knew better and the doctor was wrong. And he said what he'd said all those years ago

"Let me see him."

He thought Fraiser was going to say no, but she pursed her lips and then nodded curtly, motioning for him to follow

Daniel was awake, lying on his side. At Jack's approach a shy smile appeared

"Jack?" he asked, his voice a different timbre, a younger sounding voice

'Oh God, oh God.' Jack wasn't sure if it was a prayer or not, but he forced a smile to his face for Daniel's reassurance because despite the very small smile Daniel was wearing, Jack didn't like the way Daniel's eyes were flitting from Fraiser, to the bed, to Jack and back again. He saw Daniel swallowing hard, trying to keep his fear under control. And because Daniel was scared that meant Jack couldn't be. It was a prayer, he decided. 'Oh God, help me. Help him.'

"Hey, Daniel." Jack pulled a chair to the bedside, reaching through the rail to rest his hand on top of Daniel's. "How are you doing?"

"I'm scared, Jack," Daniel whispered. He looked up at Janet before fixing his eyes on Jack once more. "I don't like this place. Can we go somewhere else? Will you take me to your house?"

The voice was plaintive, confused. Jack forced his own emotions down and smiled at Daniel reassuringly. "Not just yet, Daniel. You've been sick for a little bit and Doc here has to make sure you're getting better."

Daniel twisted his hand out from under Jack's and grabbed Jack's fingers. "Don't leave me, okay? I don't like it here."

"Doc, you want to tell us what's gonna happen next?" Jack asked evenly

"Sir, I don't think..."

"Well, I do, Doc. I think Daniel would feel a lot better if he knew what was going to happen. Right, Daniel?"

His guess was rewarded with a small nod

"I'm going to order some tests. MRI, PET scan, CAT scan, EEG..." Janet began

"Whoa, Doc, stop with the alphabet soup." Jack held up a hand and heard a very quiet giggle from Daniel at the comment. "Plain English for me, please." He patted Daniel's hand and stilled the restless fingers that were worrying the edge of the blanket

Doctor Fraiser nodded and gave a slight smile of understanding at Jack's request. "In other words, Colonel, we want to take some pictures of Daniel's brain."

"No, no, no," Daniel whispered, beginning to pick at the blanket once more. "Don't let her do it, Jack."

"Daniel, we need to see what's going on in that noggin of yours." Jack placed a finger on Daniel's chin, forcing the younger man's eyes to meet his

"My brain's in here." Daniel reached up to touch his head. "How can she take a picture of it without opening it up?"

Jack thought the pain he felt at Daniel's innocent question would swallow him whole. This was real, not some dream. Daniel was hurt in some way Jack couldn't begin to fathom. Daniel needed him, maybe now more than ever

"No, Daniel. They have a special camera. It sees right through your head. They don't need to open anything up."

"You promise?"

"I promise. No opening up your head." Jack nodded and smiled despite the ache that was in his chest, the lump that was in his throat. "Doc, will it hurt?"

Janet shook her head. "Not a bit. Only a pinch when we take some blood. That might hurt a little bit. Okay, Daniel?"

Jack noticed that Daniel fixed his gaze on him once more, a trusting look that he'd seen before, the belief that Jack wasn't going to desert him. If Jack told him it wasn't going to hurt, it wouldn't. That blind faith overwhelmed Jack

"It'll be fine, Daniel," Jack nodded with a sense of numbness and unreality. This could not be happening. This wasn't real. Daniel was going to be fine. Doc and her minions would run their tests, find out this was just some momentary leftover glitch from Wepwawet's torture and fix him up. SG-1 would be going through the gate together next week

"Okay, Doc Janet," Daniel nodded decisively. Jack had to smile at the name. "Jack says it's okay." He pulled at the blanket nervously and looked to Jack once more. "You're not going to leave me here are you?"

"I can't go with you to the tests, Daniel. But I'll be waiting right here for you when you come back."

Daniel nodded, his expression guarded, as the orderlies came to wheel his bed to the radiology department

"I'll be here for you, Daniel. Always." Jack bent over to speak to Daniel and relaxed as Daniel gave him a small smile. He closed his hand over Daniel's momentarily, enough to give him a quick squeeze of encouragement

"You won't leave me alone," Daniel repeated, "and it won't hurt."

Jack watched as Daniel disappeared through the double doors before turning back to Fraiser

"Doc? You have any idea what's going on?"

"Not yet, sir. You're welcome to wait here, sir, but it's going to be awhile. I can call you when Daniel's on his way back."

Jack glanced at the empty space where Daniel's bed had been. There was a book resting on the small table, one of Daniel's very boring tomes. He'd brought it to the infirmary just last evening, figuring that when Daniel woke up, he'd want to read

"I'm just going to..." Jack picked up the book, the weight of it strangely comforting. "I need to take a walk. Return this to..." Jack wondered why he wasn't able to string a coherent sentence together. "I'll be back."

He left before Fraiser could offer any of her meaningless platitudes, making a list in his mind. He needed to speak to Carter and Teal'c. They needed to hear what was going on from him. Needed to return this book to Daniel's office. Daniel would kill him if anything happened to it. He wondered if Fraiser had contacted Hammond. No matter, he could manage that duty too. Jack squared his shoulders and walked out of the infirmary on his self appointed mission

* * * * *

Jack studied the faces gathered around the briefing room table. It was by his request that Carter and Teal'c were here. They were part of Daniel's family too, and it appeared that Daniel was going to need all the family he could get. Jack rested his hands on the table, forcing himself not to curl them into fists as Doctor Philips, the psychologist, gave his report. Couldn't the man just bottom-line it? The brilliant Doctor Jackson that had unlocked the key to the Stargate, the man who held multiple PhD's, the linguist who knew twenty-three plus languages, was gone. Regression, Philips was explaining. He was repeating test results he'd shared with Jack the day before. The Daniel who just three days ago had been translating an ancient language halfway across the galaxy now couldn't read or write his own name. The Daniel who headed the archaeology department and routinely managed the budget for said department now couldn't count above five

"Thank you, Doctor Philips," Hammond said. Jack lowered his head and glanced at Carter out of the corner of his eye. She looked stunned, unable to believe the results she'd just heard. Teal'c was staring at Philips and Jack wondered if he was about to strangle the man with his bare hands. He turned his attention back to the general who was nodding at Fraiser

"Doctor Fraiser, can you tell us the cause of Daniel's regression?"

Janet closed the thick files that contained the results of Daniel's testing. Her eyes skirted around the briefing room table, hesitating for a moment on Jack. "No, sir, I can't."

"You can't?" Jack asked. "What do you mean you can't? Millions of dollars of taxpayers' money at your disposal and you can't give us a reason why Dr. Daniel Jackson, genius extraordinaire, now has the mentality of a five-year old?"

"Colonel...." Hammond attempted to intervene, Dr. Fraiser held up her hand to halt him

"No, I can't Colonel. With Daniel it could be a number of things...his last run in with the Goa'uld torture device, damage from the virus. Sir, we just don't have enough information about how that device works."

"I'll continue working on it, General." Carter spoke with surprising fierceness. "We'll find an answer."

"Even if you do find out the why, Sam, there's no guarantee that anything will change. I'm sorry, Colonel O'Neill, but that's my medical opinion. I don't see Daniel's condition changing. I'm sorry."

Sorry, Jack thought. Sorry. As if that word made it better. Fraiser looked beat. They all did, he thought as he scanned the faces of the doctors, his teammates, his CO. They were military, damn it. They needed a plan

"So, Doc, what happens next?" he heard himself ask. Maybe he wasn't a colonel for nothing. He'd led his team through hell before. Surely he could do it again, no matter the cost. Daniel needed him, needed them. He placed that mission objective in his mind. Nothing was going to swerve him from the course

Jack thought of all the times he'd sat at this table, his mind drifting as Carter or Daniel went through long winded explanations about upcoming missions when they could have summed up their points in two or three sentences. This was different. This was Daniel's life and Jack began taking notes as Fraiser began speaking of rehab at the Academy hospital, occupational therapy, speech therapy. He held up his hand to stop her

"I'm taking him home with me."

"Colonel, Daniel needs skilled care. For all intents and purposes, he is a five year old."

"And I was a dad to a five year old, Doc." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, you know medicine, but I know Daniel. And he's going to do a lot better being at home with me, with someone who knows him rather than spending not only his days but also his nights in a hospital."

"Sir, you go off-world, your hours..."

"Then I'll resign," Jack said, leaning forward

"No, Jack." Hammond spoke softly. "We'll work this out. Doctor Fraiser, is there any medical reason that Doctor Jackson can't be released to Colonel O'Neill's care?" At her head shake, he continued. "It appears that Daniel will be spending most of his days in therapy sessions at the Academy hospital. I'm sure we can manage to keep Colonel O'Neill busy for the same amount of time each day."

Jack smiled grimly. The battle may have been won but victory was so not sweet

"I'll arrange for a team meeting on Doctor Jackson's case at the hospital. 1300 tomorrow, Colonel O'Neill."

Jack nodded and wrote the time down on his notes

"I'd like to keep Daniel on base until everything's arranged. Perhaps a VIP room, sir?" she asked General Hammond

"It'll be taken care of, Doctor," Hammond nodded. "Dismissed."

Jack watched as the others trickled out of the room, until only he and the general remained

He stood to leave, but found himself drawn instead to the gateroom and the Stargate. He was aware of General Hammond beside him, a fatherly hand placed on his shoulder

"If anyone can do this, Jack, you can."

Jack nodded, wishing he had as much faith in himself as General Hammond did. 'Daniel needs me,' he repeated in his mind

Jack looked up from his paperwork. A half an hour's more work and he'd be able to at last take Daniel home. Doctor Fraiser had finally released from the infirmary him a few hours ago. But now Daniel was nowhere to be seen, the papers he'd been drawing on scattered across the table. Jack only spared a glimpse at the pictures, childish stick figures, nothing like Daniel's detailed drawings of artifacts

"Shit, shit, shit," Jack muttered. He had no way of knowing just how much of the base Daniel remembered, had visions of Daniel wandering around lost and confused

"Colonel?" He bumped into an airman as he rushed down the hall

"Call General Hammond. Let him know that Doctor Jackson is missing," Jack shouted after the woman. He punched the button for the elevator and counted the seconds until it arrived

Jack ran down the hall towards Daniel's office, hoping against hope that he was guessing correctly. He pushed open the door and paused, a huge sigh of relief gusting past his lips

Daniel was sitting at his computer, the bluish light from the screen casting a glow over his hair. Jack's heart pounded faster. What if Doc Fraiser had been wrong? What if it hadn't been brain damage after all? Daniel was the bounce back kid after all; maybe this time he needed just a little more time to recover. Maybe coming to his office had been the catalyst

"Daniel?" Jack called tentatively

Daniel turned to face him, giving him a big grin. "Jack, look at the pretty pictures."

The illusion was broken, shattered. Daniel frowned

"Jack? Don't be sad. Look, I can make this drawing dance. Just press this button. See?" Daniel's voice was rising in reaction to Jack's distress

Jack nodded, unable to speak. He picked up the phone and dialed Hammond's office

"Sir? I've found Daniel. He's in his office. No, no, sir. We'll be fine. You don't need to send anyone else up here. Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

Daniel motioned rapidly. "Jack, c'mere. C'mon. Give me your finger. I'll show you."

Jack pulled up a chair beside Daniel, offering his hand. Daniel took his hand and pressed Jack's index finger to the space bar

"Isn't he funny, Jack?" Daniel laughed and looked at Jack. Jack smiled back, unable to resist the infectious giggle

"That he is, Daniel." Jack nodded

"I was being real good and quiet, Jack." Daniel turned his attention back to the screen. "I like this room. There's lotsa fun stuff in here. Do you like this room too, Jack?"

"Yeah, yeah I do, Danny." Jack reached up to stroke Daniel's hair. "This room belongs to my very best friend in the whole universe."

Jack wasn't prepared for Daniel's sudden frown. "Daniel, what's wrong?"

"I'm not your friend," Daniel whispered

"What gave you that idea?" Jack pulled on Daniel's chair, swiveling it so Daniel was facing him

"I want to be your very best friend in the whole universe, Jack." Daniel continued looking at his hands, pulling on the hem of his T-shirt

"Daniel?" Jack had to pause and cough. "Daniel, listen to me. You are my very best friend."

"I am?" Daniel smiled widely. "Really?" He bounced in his chair. "But what about...you know...?" He waved his hand in a gesture so reminiscent of the Daniel that was that for a second Jack couldn't focus

"I think he'd be really happy that I have you, Danny. I know he would." Jack reached over to switch off the computer. "We've got to get going, Daniel."

"Can I come back here and play another time?" Daniel asked as Jack led him to the door

"We'll see," Jack offered as a compromise. "We'll see."

Jack didn't miss Daniel's last lingering look at all the treasures in his office. No, Jack corrected, his former office. More tests during the past two days only served to confirm the same results the first ones had. Jack looked at Daniel who was smiling at each person they met in the hallway. He hadn't ever expected this, had no way of foreseeing such a devastating accident to Daniel. They were supposed to have had the rest of their lives together. Together as equals, as people who were whole, as lovers and partners

Daniel was the one who had taught him how to dream again. Jack thought back to the first time he met a shaggy haired Daniel, a man sure of his convictions, unafraid to argue with Jack. He remembered Daniel's wonder stepping through the wormhole and total fascination with the people of Abydos. And when Jack left Daniel on that alien world, he discovered he was able to begin to dream again. As he sat on his deck, watching the night sky, dreams flitted through his mind, elusive, never quite coalescing until he stepped through the Stargate once more and Daniel was there

He shared Daniel's dream that they could rescue Sha're and, when that dream turned to dust in Daniel's hands, Jack found himself helping Daniel regain the ability to dream. And for the past year there was a new dream. A dream that he'd finally found someone that accepted him as he was, someone who knew his faults and loved him despite them. A dream that he was going to grow old with someone , with Daniel. When they both decided the fight with Goa'uld was a fight for younger folks than they, Daniel would write books and translate on the side for the SGC, Jack would fish and watch hockey and fish some more. And in between he and Daniel would argue, drive each other crazy, and then have mind-blowing sex

Jack watched Daniel push the elevator buttons and laugh as all the numbers lit up and smiled back at Daniel's grin, wondering if all the dreams had died

"Jack? Are we soon going home? I've been waiting for it forever." Daniel followed Jack out of the elevator

Jack nodded, momentarily unable to speak. Less than a week ago those words had a totally different meaning when they came from Daniel's lips. He coughed. "Just a few more minutes, Daniel. I have a few more papers to do."

Daniel sighed. "You sure have lots of stuff to do, Jack."

"Sometimes, Daniel," Jack agreed. "And you can help by hanging some of those pictures you drew up on my filing cabinet. I'll give you some tape to do it."

Daniel smiled at him as he followed Jack into his office. "I can do that, Jack."

They were just preparing to leave when there was a knock at Jack's door Daniel opened it, his grin fading to a frown as he saw it was Doctor Fraiser

"I don't have to go back to the sick room do I?" Daniel asked very quietly

"No, oh no, Daniel," Janet quickly assured him. "I just need to speak to Colonel O'Neill for a few minutes."

Daniel went to stand by Jack's desk, still warily watching Janet

"Doc? Is there a problem?" Jack stood placing his hand on Daniel's shoulder, hoping that he was conveying confidence that there was indeed nothing wrong

"No, sir. I just wanted to check in before you take Daniel home." She glanced from Jack to Daniel and Jack didn't miss the sadness in her eyes "I wanted to remind you of your appointment to visit the rehab center at the Academy Hospital tomorrow at 0900." She turned her attention back to Jack. "It's going to be very important to make sure that you establish routines for Daniel."

Jack held up a small notebook to show Janet. "Taken care of, Doc. Appointment at 0900 tomorrow. Check up for Daniel in two weeks here." He didn't even need to look at his notes. He'd been spending most of the past two days filling the notebook with questions, appointments, and ideas

Janet smiled. "Yes, sir. I'll be going. If you have any problems, well, you have my number both here and at home." She focused on Daniel once again. "Daniel, you take care of yourself."

"Jack? What's a routine?" Daniel sounded worried. The mention of the hospital must have done it. Jack didn't blame him. Daniel had undergone so many tests in the past few days that the thought of more doctors must have scared him silly

"It just means that we need to do things the same way most of the time, Daniel," Jack reassured him. "And we are going to visit the hospital to meet some people who are going to help you learn things."

"Oh." Daniel watched as Jack shut down his computer and straightened up his desk

"Ready to go, buddy?" Jack asked after one last look around the office

"Home?"

"Home."

Daniel smiled. "I'm ready, Jack. I've been ready forever."

* * * * *

An hour later, Daniel was ensconced on Jack's sofa, remote control in hand, and Jack was staring in the refrigerator wondering just what he should make for supper. Another bout of laughter from the living room helped Jack decide. They'd call somewhere for delivery. Daniel was having way too much fun without him

Jack paused behind the sofa. Daniel's attention was fixed on the TV screen and he laughed again, holding his stomach. Jack couldn't remember ever hearing Daniel laugh like this, totally uninhibited, totally abandoned to the moment. He watched as Daniel bit his lip, trying unsuccessfully to hold back his laughter and then as he gave up the fight and dissolved once again into helpless giggles

Jack sat down beside Daniel as a commercial came on. "You having fun, Danny?"

"Jack, it's funny." Daniel smiled at Jack. "He's a sponge and he's got a friend who's a starfish and there's a squirrel and a crab and a squid. Sponge Bob went to school to drive and the lady fish puffed up and then he cheated and..."

"Whoa," Jack held up his hand. "Take a breath, Daniel. May I watch it too?"

Daniel's smile grew impossibly larger and he nodded. "I'm so glad I'm home with you, Jack."

"I'm glad you're here too, Daniel." Jack smiled back even though he felt brittle. This was real. This wasn't some nightmare. Daniel was changed and he wasn't ready

"Look, Jack. It's back on." Daniel pointed to the screen when Jack appeared to not be watching. "I'll explain it to you okay?"

"You do that, Daniel." Jack leaned back on the cushions and listened to his first lesson on Sponge Bob's antics

* * * * * * * * * *

Jack pushed open the door to the spare room. Daniel was sprawled in the bed, one hand tucked up under his chin, the other arm flung out to the side. His covers were twisted and half falling off the bed

The night light that General Hammond had handed him along with a bag of children's books and videos cast a soft glow in the room as Jack made his way to Daniel's side

Daniel was frowning in his sleep and moaning slightly. Jack put out a hand to touch Daniel's forehead. It felt slightly warmer than usual, but Jack wasn't sure if it was due to the excitement of the day or a fever. He'd set his alarm and check on Daniel in two hours, see if there was any change

Daniel's hands came up as if he was pushing someone away and Jack sat down beside him

"Daniel?" Jack whispered. He stroked back Daniel's bangs. "I'm here."

Daniel came awake with a gasp. "Jack?" He sat up and reached out for Jack, seeking comfort

Jack rubbed a big circle on Daniel's back, not speaking, just waiting for Daniel's breathing to slow

Daniel pulled away a few minutes later and looked at Jack with wide eyes. "They were after me, Jack. I didn't like them."

"Who was, Daniel?" Jack cast his mind back over the TV they'd watched earlier wondering if Daniel had been scared by something he'd seen

"The man with glowy eyes. His voice was all scary and he said he'd hurt you and Sam and Teal'c. I didn't like him, Jack," Daniel shuddered

"He can't hurt you, Daniel. He's gone." Jack rubbed at his face as Daniel scooted back under the covers. Okay, so Daniel was having nightmares about Wepwawet's little sessions with him. Now how did one explain the Goa'uld to a five year old?

Evidently, Jack found out as he looked at Daniel, one didn't. Jack's reassurance that the glowy-eyed man was gone and couldn't hurt him was enough for Daniel. Jack bent over and kissed Daniel's forehead. Too bad he couldn't reassure himself. Too bad he understood that although Wepwawet was dead he was still torturing Daniel and those who loved him

"Sleep tight, Danny," Jack whispered as he stood up to leave. "Busy day tomorrow."

Jack paused at the door. He had the feeling this was going to be a long, long night

"Here we are, Daniel." Jack pulled into a parking space on the Academy Hospital lot. "Let's go inside, okay?"

Daniel was rubbing his hand on denim-clad thighs. Jack wondered if the nervous habits Daniel now exhibited were frustration with his limitations. He'd have to put that in the small notebook in which he was keeping questions to have answered, the overload of information being thrown at him in the week since Daniel's awakening overwhelming at times. "I don't want to," a small voice said

"Remember we talked about this, Daniel? Remember when we visited a few days ago?" Jack prodded. He motioned for Daniel to undo his seatbelt

Daniel nodded and got out of the truck slowly. His eyes darted back and forth from the building to Jack. He licked his lips and pushed his glasses up on his nose

"Here." Jack handed Daniel the backpack they'd picked out last night and put his hand on Daniel's shoulder, feeling the tight muscles. He began guiding Daniel towards the doors. If his own stomach doing flip-flops was any indication of how Daniel was feeling, it was no wonder Daniel had simply stirred his cereal listlessly at breakfast. It didn't matter that Jack knew Daniel needed the services the rehab center could provide. He was going to leave Daniel here, alone, while he went to the base and he wasn't going to be popping down to Daniel's office to pester him while Daniel worked on a translation. Daniel wasn't going to be giving one of his power point presentations telling them all about some obscure Egyptian deity, his speech getting faster as he got more excited. SG-1 wasn't going to be walking through the Stargate together anymore. So even though he knew in his head Daniel needed this, Jack's heart stubbornly refused to get with the program

"Hi, Daniel." The speech therapist they'd met two days ago smiled at them as they came through the double doors

"Hi." Daniel ducked his head

"Good morning." Jack smiled back, nudging Daniel

"I want to go to work with you, Jack. I belong there," Daniel pleaded. Jack nodded to the therapist as she stepped back a few paces

"Not right now, Daniel." Jack took a deep breath. "You need to come here for awhile so they can help you."

"Because I'm stupid now," Daniel muttered

"No, because you need some help," Jack corrected gently. "You just need some help to remember how to do some things. I'm sorry, buddy. I wish you could come with me, too."

Daniel frowned and then raised a finger to his lips, a gesture that said, 'Daniel,' to Jack. "I used to know lots."

"Yes," Jack nodded, his throat tight at the hesitant tone

"You have to go to work and I have to stay here," Daniel continued as if he was solving a puzzle. "It doesn't seem right, Jack. You, me, Sam, Teal'c, we're a team. We should be together. No one gets left behind. Isn't that right?" He looked to Jack for approval

"That's right, Daniel," Jack agreed, knowing that the team that had been was no more. "But sometimes we have different jobs to do before we figure things out and well, for now, this is your job. To come here and work hard."

"Okay, Jack," Daniel nodded slowly. "You'll come back? You won't leave me here?"

"I'll come back," Jack promised, steering Daniel towards a table and chairs

"How long?"

One of the skills Daniel had lost was the ability to tell time, but Jack didn't hesitate. He pulled off his watch, placing it in Daniel's hand

"Look here, Daniel." Jack pointed to the watch. "When the big hand is here and the little hand is here, that's when I'll be back for you."

Daniel traced a finger over the watch crystal. "I don't want you to forget me, Jack. You can't. I need you not to forget."

"I won't, Daniel." Jack patted Daniel's shoulder. He smiled as the therapist approached once more. "And when I come to get you, you can tell me all about what you did all day, okay? I'll tell you what I did too."

Daniel nodded and turned his back on Jack, studying his hands as they rested on the table

"He'll be fine, Colonel O'Neill," the therapist said

Jack left the room, emotions crashing around him. How the hell were they going to live like this? How the hell were they going to cope?

Jack didn't remember getting in the Avalanche and driving towards the base until he glanced down and saw he was speeding. He immediately slowed down. No time for his stupidity. Daniel was counting on him. He opened the window and breathed in the fresh air. They would cope. He didn't know how, but they would cope. Cheyenne Mountain loomed in his sight. He wondered if he was ever going to feel the excitement he used to when he came to work each day

* * * * *

Jack heard the arguing before he opened the door to the common room at the rehab center

"No, you can't make me. Jack said he'd be here when the little hand is on the five and the big hand is on the six. I don't want to eat it. I don't like it."

"Daniel," Emily's voice was infinitely patient, "you haven't eaten anything all day. You have to be hungry."

"No I don't and I'm not. Jack said he'd be here." Daniel's voice rose louder. "I'm gonna see if he's coming."

"You are not. Daniel, remember the rules. You can't go outside alone."

"Why not?"

"It's dangerous for you to go out alone." Emily was gently leading Daniel away from the door when Jack entered

"Jack!" Daniel launched himself at Jack and Jack found himself on the receiving end of a very enthusiastic hug. "You're here." He turned to Emily. "I told you he'd come."

"Yes you did, Daniel." The therapist smiled. "Can you get your backpack? I need to talk to Jack."

Daniel hesitated, looking at Jack

"It's okay, Daniel." Jack smiled and patted Daniel's shoulder. "You get your pack and then we're going have a surprise."

Daniel narrowed his eyes. "It's not gonna be needles is it?"

Jack shook his head. "Go, scoot; get your backpack." He watched Daniel slowly walk to the small bin where his jacket and backpack were stored before turning his gaze to Emily

"Colonel, I wanted to let you know that Daniel has made a good adjustment to being at the center. He still refuses to eat for us at lunchtime but other than that, he is making good progress."

Jack nodded. "He didn't sound too happy when I got here."

"Daniel doesn't have a very good sense of time. He couldn't understand that you were going to be late even after you phoned us. He did try to leave the center a few times in the past hour. He also doesn't understand the dangers of being out alone. We took the clients to McDonald's for lunch today. He started running across the street without waiting for the traffic light."

"I'll watch him closely, Mrs. Reese." Jack accepted another hug from Daniel as he came back to his side. "And we'll see you on Monday."

"Bye, Emily." Daniel ducked his head in a manner so familiar that Jack felt his heart squeeze. "And I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"That's okay, Daniel." Emily smiled. "You take care."

"Jack?" Daniel asked as they were pulling out of the parking lot. "Do I have to go back there on Monday?"

"Yeah, buddy. You do." Jack sighed

"Why do you have to leave me there?" Daniel was rummaging in his backpack

"I have to go to work, Danny."

"I could come with you like before. I wouldn't be any trouble at all. I can be very, very quiet." Daniel finally pulled out a piece of paper from his pack. "And look. Look what I did!"

Luckily the light was red and Jack was able to take the piece of paper offered to him

"I wrote it all by myself." Daniel was beaming. "Emily showed me how and I did it."

Jack nodded, his throat tight. Daniel had printed his name in big letters across the page. "Good job, Daniel." Jack reached out to briefly touch Daniel's cheek. "It's beautiful. Just beautiful."

"I can write, Jack. If you show me how, I'll write all your letters for you."

"I know you would, buddy," Jack nodded. "I know you'd do anything to make me happy."

"I don't want to go back. Please don't make me go back," Daniel pleaded

"I have to, Daniel. You can't come to work with me." Jack hated this. He hated every minute he was away from Daniel

Daniel took the paper with his name on it and tore it up. "I hate you. I hate you. You're a big meanie."

Jack remembered the first time a sobbing Charlie had said those words to him, the way it cut to the bone. It still did. He remembered the words he'd said to Charlie all those years ago

"I know you're mad at me and I'm sorry. But I still love you, Daniel. I will keep on loving you."

There was no answer from the passenger seat, only a small sniffle. Jack kept his eyes on the road; traffic increasing as he approached the mall. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Daniel begin to fiddle with the seat belt

"No, Danny. Keep it on. It keeps you safe." He covered Daniel's hand with his. "It's in case we're in an accident."

"You keep me safe, Jack." The voice was a whisper. "You drive good. You won't hit any cars."

"Thanks, Daniel. But sometimes other people are busy and not paying attention and if you don't have your seatbelt on, you'll get hurt."

"Smushed," Daniel agreed. "Like remember in that show with the policemen. The car was smushed."

"Yep, like that," Jack nodded. "And I don't want a smushed Daniel."

Daniel giggled. "Nope. No smushing, Jack. I won't take it off until you tell me. I promise."

Jack pulled into a parking space not far from the west entrance to the mall. "Here we are."

Daniel watched as Jack unbuckled his own seatbelt and then motioned for Daniel to do the same

"Jack?"

"Yeah, Daniel?"

"This isn't home." Daniel looked out the window dubiously

"Remember I told you a surprise?" At Daniel's nod, Jack continued. "This is the mall. There are lots of stores in here. And do you remember what you told me you wanted earlier this week?"

Jack watched as Daniel thought, one finger coming up to press against his lips. Daniel finally shook his head

"Didn't you say something about wanting a watch?"

Daniel pulled Jack's watch from his pocket. "Can't I have yours anymore? Do you need it back?" He offered it to Jack

Jack took in the downcast eyes, the teeth worrying at the lower lip. He smiled at Daniel and closed Daniel's fingers around the watch. "You know what, buddy? Maybe you should keep that one and you can help me pick out a new one. How's that?"

"I get to help?" Daniel was opening his car door. "I'll pick you the coolest one there is. Do you want a Sponge Bob one? Or how about one with Bugs Bunny?"

"I don't think General Hammond would let me wear one of those, Daniel. Although I'd sure like one of those cool watches," he said as Daniel's face fell. "C'mon. Let's go see what we can find."

Daniel started off at a rapid pace, intent on reaching the mall entrance before Jack. A car came across three lanes of parking spaces towards an unaware Daniel

Jack ran to catch up, the pounding of his heart having more to do with his fear for Daniel than any exertion

"Take my hand, Danny," Jack ordered and squeezed the hand that slipped into his trustingly. Remember when we went for our walk the other evening?" At Daniel's nod, he continued. "You have to watch for cars, Daniel. They can be dangerous and they don't always look out for you."

"Okay." Daniel tugged on Jack's hand. "C'mon, Jack. Let's go."

A half an hour later, Jack was wondering how on Earth he used to keep up with Charlie. A grown up Daniel Jackson tested his patience; Daniel Jackson with the mind of a five year old was exhausting. When they finally reached Time and Again, Jack was relieved to enter the relative peace of the store. Daniel headed for the display case that was filled with cartoon character watches and stood fascinated

Jack smiled as he watched the now quiet man. Their trip through the mall had been interspersed with questions

"Can I get a cookie? How about an ice cream cone? Jack, why is that man smooching that lady? Look, a merry go round, can I ride it later? Oh Jack, look at those ladies. They don't got all their clothes on. I want some fishies, can I have some? Can we fill up the bathtub and let them live there? Jack, why do I have to hold your hand? I'm big. Do big people have to hold hands so they don't get lost? I got lost. Lost and alone. I don't want to be lost Jack. Will you find me?"

He'd given Daniel the reassurances the younger man seemed to need almost obsessively since the devastating damage from Wepwawet's virus and promised an ice cream cone for later

Jack studied the watches in the display case. Daniel still held Jack's tightly clutched in his hand and Jack knew he wasn't getting it back anytime soon. Evidently Daniel had found his security blanket to get himself through the days at the center

Jack motioned for the sales clerk to open the case and less than five minutes later he was handing over his credit card and signing his name

"Hey, Daniel," Jack turned around, "you ready to..."

His mouth went dry. Two young children and their mother stood in front of the cartoon character watches while a clerk opened the case

"Excuse me?" Jack interrupted. "Did any of you happen to see a young man here about five minutes ago? Light brown hair, my height?"

"Yeah, sure." The clerk popped her gum. "He left a couple of minutes ago. Didn't see where he went though."

"Thanks." Jack exited the store and stood, debating. God, he should have never taken his eyes off of Daniel, should have insisted Daniel stay by Jack's side. He thought Daniel would be safe. It had only been five minutes after all. Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was a mall. Daniel probably wasn't going to wander out the doors, not with all these distractions. Daniel may have been a child mentally but he certainly didn't look like one. It wasn't likely someone would try to snatch him. It was those earlier pleas though that kept playing through Jack's mind, Daniel's anxious questions about getting lost and needing Jack to find him

Jack rubbed a hand through his hair trying to come up with a plan. It wasn't as if he didn't have experience tracking down a wayward adult Daniel. Lord knew he did it often enough on missions

The aquarium store Jack decided, and took off at a brisk pace. They'd spent a good five or ten minutes there earlier, Daniel standing entranced by the elaborate tropical fish tank that the store had in their window. When Daniel started naming each and every fish and quizzing Jack on them, Jack had promised a return visit after they bought the watch. Jack wove his way through the crowds, keeping his eye out for Daniel. A quick circuit of the aquarium shop didn't produce his missing charge

Jack headed toward the opposite end of the mall, the end he and Daniel hadn't begun to visit. Jack wasn't sure if Daniel had any memory of the mall. It certainly hadn't seemed like it when they walked in the entrance. But there was a chain bookstore that Daniel insisted on visiting every time he and Jack came to the mall. Although Daniel complained about the lack of adequate selections of books, Jack always knew where to find him, engrossed in some book he pulled off the shelf and reading it in the middle of the aisle

Jack was halfway back to the literature section before it hit him. This Daniel, this new and injured Daniel, couldn't read. And from tests that the neurologist and psychologist had performed indicated that he would probably never regain that ability. A wave of what he, but more importantly Daniel, had lost hit him in the gut so hard that Jack needed to reach out a hand to grab a bookshelf. The enormity of the challenges ahead, the prognosis of Daniel's future, came crashing around him and he had to close his eyes to regain his balance

Jack remembered a priest telling Sara and him that they'd learn to deal with Charlie's death one day at a time, sometimes one hour, one minute at a time. He hadn't been willing to believe it then but he knew it was true. That was what he needed to do now. Deal with this hand Daniel had been dealt by the day, by the hour, by the minute, and the first order on the agenda was to find Daniel

Jack took a deep breath and straightened as he left the bookstore. Daniel may look like a grown man, but Jack reminded himself that Daniel was, for all intents and purposes, a child. Jack knew exactly where a five year old would be found. He headed to the toy store three doors down

A woman's strident voice coming from the back of the store reached him. Jack saw the other customers trying hard to ignore the commotion. He hurried towards the sound of the voice

"I want you to call security now. If you don't, I will. My husband is a lawyer. I could..."

Jack turned the corner and saw Daniel sitting on the floor with a young boy of perhaps five or six. They were playing with a train set oblivious to the adults around them. A well-dressed woman, evidently the boy's mother, held a little girl tightly by the hand while the store manager stood perplexed

"Daniel!" Jack didn't mean to yell but the relief at seeing Daniel safe and unharmed took over. "Why did you run away from me? You were lost."

Daniel blinked at him, pushing up his glasses with one finger. "I wasn't lost Jack. I was right here. And look. Look at these trains. Aren't they cool?" Daniel's look of wonder and bright smile was replaced with a quick frown. He pushed himself to his feet and went to Jack's side

"I thought I told you to stay with me. To stay by my side." Jack caught Daniel's hand. "You can't just wander off. You'll get hurt."

"You said to stay away from cars. I did. I didn't even go near them in here." Daniel hung his head and whispered, "I like trains."

"I know you like them, Daniel. But I also like when you stay by me." Jack shook his head in exasperation at Daniel's confused look. "We'll talk about it later."

"Cars can't hurt me in here, can they, Jack? Did I forget?" Daniel tugged at Jack's hand

Jack saw the expression on the woman's face turn from anger to pity. The pity was worse he decided. Her eyes moved from Daniel to Jack and then to her own children

"Come here, Bobby," she said brusquely, holding her hand out to the little boy. She finally met Jack's eyes once again, totally avoiding looking at Daniel. "I didn't know he was special." She said the word distastefully, as if Daniel's presence had somehow contaminated her child

"Bye-bye, Bobby." Daniel waved to the little boy. "We had lots of fun. I liked playing with you."

"Some people should be kept at home," Jack heard her say to the store manager as she herded her children towards the front of the store

"Yeah, some people should," Jack muttered. "People like you."

"Jack?" Daniel tugged Jack's hand again. "Can we go now?"

Jack finally looked at Daniel. "Huh? Go, yeah, sure."

Daniel was silent as they walked through the mall, the excitement he'd shown earlier gone

"Hey, Daniel. Let's go get our ice cream cones now. They have lots of flavors." Jack smiled. "I think I'm gonna get chocolate and peanut butter. What about you?"

"I'm not hungry. I don't want an ice cream cone," Daniel mumbled so that Jack had to bend slightly to hear him

"Why not? You were hungry awhile ago."

Daniel shrugged. "Just not. No ice cream. No trains. Just go home. I'm sleepy."

Jack spied an empty bench near the fountain and guided Daniel to it

"Danny?" Jack placed a finger under Daniel's chin and forced Daniel's head up. "Look at me, Danny. I need you to tell me the truth. Tell me what's wrong."

"Don't get mad at me, Jack," Daniel whispered

"I'm not mad at you, Danny. I was scared; scared because you were lost. I didn't know where to find you and I told you to stay..." Jack stopped realizing something. "I didn't tell you to stay with me in the mall, just on the parking lot."

"Lots of rules, Jack. I can't remember them all." Daniel sighed and placed his head on Jack's shoulder. "It's because I'm a retard. That store man said so. 'Can't you see he's a retard?' That's what he said. The lady said well some people need keepers. Do I need a keeper? Are you my keeper? Like a zookeeper like on Animal Planet? Too much to remember."

Suddenly Jack didn't care that they were sitting in the middle of a mall. Daniel needed him and Jack needed Daniel. He hugged the younger man tightly. "You don't need a keeper, Daniel. You're smart and brave. Guess what? When you get somewhere and you are lost you should sit right down and not move from where you are so someone can find you. You were smart. You stayed in one place and I found you right there."

Daniel's face lit up with a smile as Jack smiled at him. "I stayed in one place. And I didn't touch the cars either Jack. That was good, right?"

"That was very good." Jack gave him one more quick hard hug. "So?"

" If I stay with you and don't let go of your hand can we have ice cream cones?" Daniel stood up, his enthusiasm coming back. "And then can we go look at the fishies some more? And the trains?"

"Sounds like a plan, Daniel." Jack got to his feet. "A very good plan."

"And then we will go home and eat supper and I will take a bath and go right to bed." Daniel was nodding as he outlined the rest of the evening. "You won't have to get angry. No angry eyes tonight, Jack."

"Angry eyes, Daniel?" Jack searched his memory. Surely when he had been angrier earlier, he hadn't looked that angry

"You know. Like when Mrs. Potato Head says it to Mr. Potato Head in that movie."

"That movie?"

"Toy Story, Jack." Daniel sighed and pulled harder on Jack's hand to get him moving faster. "I really like that movie. Can we watch it tomorrow?"

"When did you see Toy Story?" Jack slowed down as they approached the ice cream stand

"Sam and Teal'c showed it to me when I was staying with Doctor Janet." Daniel's mouth opened in awe at the sight of thirty flavors. "You know, when I had to wait to come home with you."

Jack smiled. He was going to having a talk with his second in command and her cohort in crime. Since when did the commanding officer get left out of the fun?

"What's that one, Jack?" Daniel started pointing to the containers one by one

Jack studied the signs and prepared himself. He had the feeling that Daniel was going to want to hear every flavor and then stick with chocolate or vanilla

Daniel's hand tightened around Jack's as they exited the mall

"I won't run ahead, Jack. I promise." Daniel looked at Jack sideways

"I know, Daniel. I know you won't." Jack gave Daniel's hand a little squeeze of reassurance. "So, did you like your surprise?" he asked

Daniel smiled at Jack. "I liked the fishies and the trains."

"Not the ice cream?" Jack teased

"Nope," Daniel giggled and shook his head. "I loved the ice cream."

Minutes later, both of them safely buckled in, Jack maneuvered the Avalanche into the Friday night traffic

Soon soft snores came from Daniel's direction. Jack risked a glance despite the heavy traffic

Daniel was sound asleep, head canted to the right and against the window. It was a position Jack had seen more times than he cared to count. He and Daniel driving home after a mission; Daniel's batteries finally run low. Jack turned his attention back to the road and swallowed hard

He'd made a promise to Daniel. He would take care of him, but it hurt, oh God, it hurt. The memory of Daniel's face when he'd first found him in the toy store flashed into his mind: the look of utter trust and the smile of sheer joy and wonder Daniel had shown him, and that brilliant smile fading to a puzzled look of worry before the whispered, "I like trains."

Jack smiled and turned at the next light. Daniel liked trains; Jack knew exactly where to find one

"Danny?" Jack shook Daniel's shoulder. "Danny? Wake up a sec. I have to run in this building for something. You stay right here, okay? Don't get out the truck."

"Umhm." Daniel opened his eyes and regarded Jack groggily. "I'm sleeping." He pulled his jacket up higher and put his head against the window

"I'll be back by the time you count to ten," Jack said and patted Daniel's thigh

"Okay." Daniel yawned, obviously unconcerned

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Jack took a deep breath as he entered Daniel's apartment building. The last time he'd been here...Jack punched the elevator buttons, glaring at the man who was waiting. No one followed him into the elevator. Jack leaned against the wall, muscles tightening in his shoulders and neck. He'd been in the apartment a week and a half ago, grabbing Daniel's clothes in a haphazard fashion, stuffing them into a suitcase, and getting out as quickly as possible after leaving a note for Daniel's cleaning woman to feed the fish daily as Doctor Jackson was on an extended expedition

Jack opened the door cautiously, memories crowding from every corner. The last time he'd been here and stayed any length of time had been a few nights before their second to the last mission. Daniel was sitting on the couch providing acerbic commentary to a documentary on Egyptian mythology while Jack cooked Daniel's favorite spaghetti sauce and complained about the game he was missing

He'd have to look into subletting the apartment, Jack thought. Get Daniel's stuff that he wouldn't be using anymore packed into storage. Daniel was never going to be able to live on his own again. Jack trailed his fingers across the piano keys, wondering if Daniel would be able to relearn that skill, trying to figure out just where he could put a piano in his home

Jack entered the bedroom, going straight to the closet, and avoiding looking at the bed. Maybe Carter and Teal'c would be willing to take care of Daniel while he came back in a week or so and started packing things for storage. Jack let his fingers linger over one of the sweaters he'd forgotten in his haste, a heathery blue one Jack had given him for his last birthday. Jack shook his head at the maudlin turn his thoughts were taking. Daniel was alive. He needed to remember that. Daniel was alive and seemed happy. That had to be enough for Jack. It just had to be

Jack reached up to the shelf and pulled down the box that held the train set he'd given Daniel a few years back, able to still see Daniel's shock and delight at the present in his mind. Daniel faithfully set the train up every Christmas season. Jack had begun giving him a new car for it each year. Jack rummaged for the box that held the rest of the train supplies and pulled it out of the closet, carefully placing the train set on top. He lifted the box, turned out the light, and carefully shut the bedroom door behind him

"Goodbye Daniel," he whispered to the ghost of what had been

Jack found himself standing before the bookcases that lined one of Daniel's walls without remembering having crossed the room; so many books, all of them well worn and used. How many evenings had he sat on that couch watching Daniel pull books off the shelf while he researched some ancient culture? Jack ran his fingers over the spines of Daniel's journals, seeing Daniel hunched over the journals by a campfire off-world or sitting in bed writing before he went to sleep. He pulled some of them from the shelves, unable to resist them, unable to let go of Daniel's words. He placed them in the box almost reverently. He couldn't let go yet, he just knew he couldn't. The pain was too fresh, too raw. He turned to leave and a familiar yellow box caught his eye--a box of sixty-four crayons he'd given Daniel on the same day he'd given him his first train set. Jack pulled the box off of the shelf and flipped back the top. He smiled even though a lump suddenly formed in his throat. Very few of the crayons had pristine sharp tips. Daniel had evidently found uses for them over the past two years. He added the crayon box to his collection and zipped up his jacket before closing the door and locking it

Jack opened the back of the truck and carefully placed the box inside. A frantic mumbling reached his ears

"Daniel? Daniel, you okay?" Jack slammed the door shut and ran to the front of the truck. He climbed in and found Daniel huddled in his seat

"One, two, three, four, five, six..please come back. I'm sorry. I don't know it. One, two, three, four, five, six..." Daniel rocked back and forth, tears running unheeded down his cheeks. "One, two, three..."

"Daniel? Daniel, what's wrong?" Jack reached out a hand to stop Daniel's rocking. "I'm here. I told you I'd be back soon."

Daniel stopped his movement and looked mournfully at Jack. "You said you'd be back by the time I could count to ten. I tried and tried, Jack. I couldn't remember. I only know my numbers to six. I couldn't remember what came next." Daniel reached out to clutch at Jack's neck, his crying increasing

Jack leaned across to hold Daniel closer. "Shhh..Daniel, I'm sorry. I'm back. I shouldn't have left you alone. It's okay. It's okay." He rocked Daniel in an awkward rhythm. "It's okay."

"I thought you wouldn't come back. You left me before. Will you find me if I get lost? Find me and take me home?" Daniel's words tumbled out in between hiccups and lessening sobs

Jack brought a hand up to cup Daniel's nape. "I'll always find you, Daniel. Always." He straightened and pushed Daniel slightly away, wiping Daniel's tears with his thumbs. "It's been a long day, Danny. What do you say we head home?"

Daniel gave a small smile. "I'm glad you came back, Jack." He reached up to wipe his nose with his sleeve. Jack grabbed a tissue and handed it to him

"Blow your nose with this." Jack suggested, giving Daniel's leg a pat. "You know," he continued as he pulled from the parking space and headed home, "you did a good job, Daniel. You stayed right where you were and waited. That's what you need to do if you're lost or if you can't find me. Just wait. I'll come for you. I promise."

Daniel blew his nose and then smiled at Jack. "I know. You always do."

They drove in silence the rest of the way home

"How about you go right up, get your towels and get ready for your bath?" Jack shooed Daniel ahead of him. "I'll order us a pizza. That sound good?"

"I like pizza a whole lot, Jack," Daniel nodded agreement. "And then will you read me some stories?"

"Then I'll read you some stories." Jack placed his hands on Daniel's shoulders, gently guiding him towards the steps. "C'mon. Get going."

"Jack?" Daniel turned on the second step

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Can we eat dessert first every night?" Daniel asked

Jack laughed. "How about we save that for Fridays? A special treat."

"Okay." Daniel jumped up the next two steps. "Can I put bubbles in the bath?"

"Yes, Daniel. You can put bubbles in the bath." Jack watched as Daniel jumped up the final two steps. "Not too much though. You wait until I come up though to run the water, okay? Just get the towels from the closet."

"Okey dokey, you old slow pokey."

Jack couldn't hold back his laughter at that comment. Despite the sadness, the adjustments, the love he felt for Daniel was still there. Changed but still strong, still as much a part of him as breathing

* * * * *

"Jack?" Daniel snuggled closer to Jack as Jack closed Where the Wild Things Are. Jack had found the book in a box of Charlie's things. Seemed like Daniel loved the book as much as Charlie had

"Daniel?" Jack placed a kiss on the top of Daniel's head. Daniel was yawning now, his head listing further to the side

"Am I special? You know, like that lady said in the store? She said I didn't know I was special. Is special bad? I don't think she liked me."

Jack sighed and hugged Daniel tight. "Special isn't bad, Daniel. That bit..lady thinks it is, but she doesn't know any better. Special is good, very, very good. And you are the most special person I know."

Daniel looked up at him, giving a smile that Jack rarely saw from him. "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too, Danny. You never forget that," Jack whispered, afraid to show any more emotion. He slid off the bed and stood. "Now, it's time for you to go to sleep."

He watched as Daniel slid under the covers. Daniel turned on his side facing the door. "Comfy?" Jack asked

Daniel nodded, closing his eyes. "Comfy."

"Night, night. Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," Jack whispered as he bent to turn off the lamp on the nightstand. "Sweet dreams, Danny." He kissed Daniel's cheek and pulled the blankets higher over Daniel's shoulder

'I'll always take care of you, Daniel,' he vowed as he went to his own lonely bed. 'Until the day I die, I will love you and care for you.'

Jack stripped, slipped under the sheet, and pulled the other pillow close, inhaling the fading scent of his lover

Daniel was bored; Jack sensed it as Daniel's wandered through the house, touching things, following him...a restlessness that sat uneasily on Jack's shoulders. It was almost as if he couldn't find a place in this house, Jack's house. A place that only weeks ago had been Daniel's refuge, his home away from home

Fraiser's words from Daniel's last infirmary visit had cut him to the quick, hurting him now as deeply as they had over 24 hours ago

"He's inquisitive, sir. You need to realize that in the scheme of things he is a 'normal' five year old. He's social and wants to please the adults that are important in his life. But you need to remember...first and foremost...he's a child."

"I know that Doc." Jack had been annoyed with the lecture

"I know this is hard, Colonel. You are giving Daniel everything he needs at the moment, but you're missing the big picture...Daniel is five. Besides a loving, structured environment you need to allow Daniel to be a child even if he appears to be an adult. You are treating this like it's temporary..."

"I'm not!" Jack replied, unable to hide the anger and indignation in his voice

"Yes you are. I've seen your house, I've spoken to Daniel...I know, sir." She touched his arm in quiet support. "He needs to play, to stretch his imagination. Games and toys teach...will give Daniel confidence...will rebuild his confidence on a level he is comfortable with...won't frustrate him by forcing him to be an adult when he can't. You need to let him be a child."

Those words of Fraiser's forced Jack to see what he hadn't wanted to acknowledge. Short of a miracle or a Nox or Asgard intervention, this wasn't temporary...this was permanent. He needed to let go to let this Daniel in.

* * * * *

This was Jack's second go round through the huge toy store. The shopping cart he was pushing was as empty now as when he retrieved it from the parking lot. Armed with a list of ideas from the General on down to what this Daniel would want to play with, Jack berated himself for not following his instincts by letting Carter take on this mission to find ways to occupy Daniel's mind

She and Teal'c were home with Daniel, Carter insisting that they were more than capable at taking care of Daniel for the afternoon without incident...also reiterating her earlier words that the two men need some time apart from each other

"He's not a man Carter."

"He's a man in height and build Colonel, but you're right, mentally he is five years old. You have been his constant companion almost every waking hour since this incident...and honestly sir, that's not too healthy. Even children need a change of stimulation

"Are you saying I'm not stimulating, Carter?"

"What I'm saying, sir, is that...maybe you better be going."

* * * * *

That's how Jack found himself wandering the wide aisles of this store, confused as hell. Deciding to put his military training into effect, he approached this analytically...a rear attack always works best as he rounded the cart to the ends of the aisle. Military mindset is a wonderful thing, Jack thought as he stood at the checkout line with a now overflowing cart

He surveyed the items, comparing it to the now crumpled list in his hand: Legos, colored pencils, drawing pads, etch-a-sketch, more Legos, playdoh, the newest handheld Gameboy, a few games, board games, puzzles, Lincoln Logs, books, books on tape, a cassette player, batteries. There was no space left to fit anything else and the little brown stuffed camel that Jack had grabbed as an afterthought sat atop this mountain of toys

The woman and her young son in the check out line parallel to Jack looked first at the cart then at Jack. "Someone got a birthday coming up?"

"Nah. You see..." Jack began before the little boy who had been squatting near the cart, trying to peek through the bars at the treasures inside, piped up

"Wow, mister, your son sure is lucky. You got him all this stuff and the new Game Boy Advance, with those cool games, that great Lego set..."

The woman cut her son off, smiling indulgently at Jack. "Hope his room is big enough for all those toys. Believe me, Legos have a tendency to breed, especially in the middle of the night when you step on them with your bare feet and playdoh...well..."

"Come on, mom, it's our turn."

"Sorry...good luck. Tell him happy birthday...love the camel by the way."

* * * * *

Something the woman with the young son had said to him wasn't sitting well with Jack and was prohibiting him from finding joy as he loaded the toys into the back of the Avalanche. Daniel didn't have a room; he had four walls with a bed. That was it. There was nothing that bespoke of Daniel's personality in the house, their house. Jack had allowed Daniel to live with him, but he hadn't permitted Daniel to move in and not just reside in the house, because moving in meant permanence, and permanence meant reality, and reality meant this Daniel was going to stay forever, and forever was a very long time. Doctor Fraiser's words seemed to finally sink in. Jack was doing Daniel an injustice by keeping him at arm's length waiting for the return of a person who was not coming home, no matter how many candles he kept burning in the window or yellow ribbons he tied around the tree trunks

He slammed the Avalanche's rear trunk door, removed his cell phone, and dialed his home phone number. Leaning against the truck's side panel, he waited impatiently for someone to answer the phone

"O'Neill residence."

"Carter?"

"Yes, sir. Is there a problem, sir?"

"Ummmm...no. No problem. How's Daniel?" Jack smiled despite himself as he heard Daniel's laughter echoing in the background." He could actually "hear" the smile in Carter's voice when she responded

"Daniel's fine sir. Right now he is explaining to Teal'c all about Sponge Bob."

"I take it Carter that..."

"Precisely sir, Teal'c is trying to understand why a sponge that lives under the sea needs to wear pants."

"Aaaahhh. Had the same question myself, actually so I understand perfectly. I have a favor to ask you."

"Anything sir."

"I need to do a few more errands and I need to work on a surprise for Daniel. Is there a possibility you can take him out to McDonald's for dinner and then bring him to your house? Pop in a few videos..." Jack checked his watch, mentally calculating the remaining errands that needed to be done. "I'll pick him up around 1900 hours?"

"Not a problem, sir."

"Thanks, Carter. Can I talk to Daniel?"

Jack listened as Carter yelled for Daniel, muffled conversation ensued, and soon he heard an enthusiastic "Hi, Jack."

"Hi, yourself. Having a good time with Carter and Teal'c?"

"Sam and I made these cookies that you slice and put in the oven... but they burnt a bit and the smoke alarm went off....oh,Sam just said I really wasn't supposed to tell you that. Sorry, Sam."

"Tell her that's fine Daniel..."

Daniel whispered conspiratorially into the mouthpiece of the phone, his voice low but clear. "Jack, I don't really think that Teal'c understands Sponge Bob. He's trying really hard...but I just don't think he gets it."

"I'm glad he has you to help him...would you mind spending some more time with Carter and Teal'c today? As a special treat, they'll take you to MickyD's for dinner and then back to Carter's house for some videos, and I'll pick you up later. Does that sound okay with you?"

"Oh yeah. Can I have chicken nuggets with fries and a chocolate shake...and I'll take the videos that we got last night from the video store...and ..."

"Slow down, okay Danny. Just tell Carter what you want and I'm sure she will get it for you. It might be dark when I get home, so I don't want you to worry. I'll be there."

"I know Jack, you won't leave me behind. I trust you."

"Never, Daniel, never."

Before Jack could even ask to speak to Carter one more time, Daniel gave him a quick goodbye and hung up the phone. With a shake of his head in quiet amusement of Daniel's behavior, he got into the cab of the truck and started off to finish the gathering of this spur of the moment surprise

* * * * *

This was hard, harder than he ever would have expected. With every placement of the masking tape, with every labeling of every box...this had become a difficult, but cathartic, experience for Jack

He had cleared off all of Daniel's books and artifacts from the spare room. Jack remembered with painful clarity the day that he had constructed the shelves in this room for that Daniel. The books that Daniel had stored here were now being boxed with love to be replaced with other things. Items better suited for the Daniel that now filled that special place in Jack's heart

Jack sat on the carpeted floor and sealed the last of the cardboard boxes, gently caressing the carton which sat between his splayed legs. Done, over, finished, sealed away, memories of what had been and dreams of what would never be filled the boxes that sat in this spare room. Not a spare room, Jack thought as he stood, Daniel's room

* * * * *

"Carter?"

Jack approached his 2IC as she stood in the shadows of her back deck. He had finished his project, showered, ate dinner, and came to pick up Daniel. Teal'c had let him in and then went to rejoin Daniel on the couch. Within moments Teal'c became as engrossed as Daniel in the movie on the screen. Daniel had pointed to the back door when he asked where 'Carter' was

Jack slowly slid the door shut as he stepped towards her unobtrusively as possible. He mirrored her stance, arms leaning on the railing, staring off into the dark of the back yard

"Sir?"

"Yes Carter?"

"How do you deal...with Daniel how he is now...knowing what he was? Lost... it's lost. All that brilliance...that intelligence...that knowledge...gone. And we're left with what? A shell of a person...?"

Jack gently placed his hand on her forearm, giving a small squeeze in a gesture of comfort, acknowledging without words that he understood her red nose and red rimmed eyes that still shone with unshed tears

"He's happy Carter. Can anyone really ask for anything more than that? Daniel doesn't remember his foster homes, or being destitute, or ridiculed, or Sha're, or what he's lost to the Goa'uld...all those things that held Daniel back from gaining true happiness...are gone. He's a clean slate Carter, he has issues—hey don't we all--but he wakes up every morning glad to be alive...taking pleasure in the littlest things. And if you look and really listen...he's brilliant in his view of the world and in his innocence...and his unconditional love he has for all of us."

She drew a ragged breath. "I didn't mean to get maudlin...but the movie...damn, it was a stupid Disney movie, 'Atlantis,' about an archaeologist and the team that goes on this adventure with him... and he meets and gets the girl in the end. Stupid movie, " she reiterated, trying to hold back a sob

"Does the hero live happily ever after, Carter?"

Unable to trust her voice, she nodded yes in response to his question

"Think of it this way...our hero in his own way is going to live happily ever after, okay? Surrounded by people who will always love him and care for him...and treat him with respect. His ability to see the wonder and good in those around him haven't changed Carter...we need to see past our own shortcomings and our loss to remember that

"I know sir...but it's hard."

"Carter, believe me, I never said it was easy..."

"Hey guys." Daniel's voice cut through the night air, interrupting their whispered conversations. "The movie is over and can I put on another one...Teal'c said that..."

"Nope, big guy," Jack said as he stepped forward towards Daniel. "You've had a nice day...but Carter is tired..." Jack looked at her and gave his head an almost unnoticeable nod of appreciation as she hid a forced yawn behind her hand

Jack stood to the side while Daniel gathered all of his paraphernalia and stuffed it into his backpack. He pretended he didn't see the tears well up in Carter's eyes as he bent to tie Daniel's shoes

* * * * *

Jack berated himself for even mentioning to Daniel that he had a secret waiting for Daniel at home. The cab of the Avalanche reverberated with Daniel's continuous questions

"Take a breath, Daniel. Please, I beg you."

Daniel made a zipping motion across his lips. "Zipping it up now Jack. See."

Within minutes Jack's peripheral vision caught Daniel's energy being transferred as his right knee began to vibrate up and down. The humming of the Sponge Bob theme song was the next unspoken sign of Daniel's excitement. By the time Daniel's left hand began beating a staccato rhythm on the console, Jack had had enough. Snaking his right hand out, grabbing Daniel's left hand in his, effectively brought a halt to Daniel's nervous energy. "Okay, talking would be all right now, Daniel."

* * * * *

"Can I open my eyes now Jack...pleeeeeaaassse?"

"Not yet..."

Daniel's eyes were screwed shut at Jack's request. Jack cautiously walked backwards through his house guiding Daniel by the forearms. Jack opened the door to the spare room, stepping aside, instructing Daniel to now open his eyes

Jack wasn't sure what he had expected...but Daniel's reaction wasn't it. Eyes wide at the transformation of the guest room to a child's room, Daniel didn't move. He stood transfixed by the toys that lined the book-vacated shelves, the posters that adorned the wall, the child-themed comforter on the bed

Jack placed his hand on the small of Daniel's back, urging him forward. Daniel walked to the bed, sitting down with great trepidation, gently fingering the outline of Sponge Bob on the comforter

"Daniel?" He walked to where Daniel was sitting on the bed. Placing his hand under Daniel's chin, he lifted up the head until Daniel's eyes met his. "Don't you like your surprise?"

"For me? You did this for me?"

"All for you."

Daniel wrinkled his brow in concentration, before he answered Jack. "I don't think anyone has done this for me before...ever-never." There appeared a lump in Jack's throat, one that his voice couldn't find its way around at Daniel's next question. "Does this mean you're gonna keep me, Jack?"

He hugged the still seated Daniel to him. Jack bent his head, planting a kiss atop Daniel's hair. Daniel threw his arms around Jack's waist, the rims of Daniel's glasses making their presence known through the thin material of Jack's shirt. "Forever and ever....Daniel. I'm gonna keep you forever and ever."

* * * * *

It hadn't been easy getting Daniel to sleep that night. Jack smiled as he adjusted the Sponge Bob comforter around Daniel's shoulders. Chuckling to himself as Daniel lay sleeping, his favorite acquisition, Lumpy the Camel, held tightly in his right hand. Tomorrow Daniel was going to learn the art of keeping his bedroom clean, as Jack gingerly stepped over the half built Lego and Lincoln Log creations

He bent to place a kiss goodnight on Daniel's temple and before standing, and before he could think about how absolutely silly this action was going to be, he placed a matching one on Lumpy with a request to the stuffed camel to protect Daniel in his dreams

"This is fun, Jack." Daniel smiled at Jack as he pulled an Egg McMuffin from the sack. "Can we eat in the car every day?"

"Not every day, Daniel." Jack shook his head. "Just once in awhile. Come on, keep eating. We'll soon be at the mountain."

Daniel finished the sandwich in record time, squirming in his seat as they approached the checkpoint. He burped loudly

"Daniel!" Jack tried to sound upset but it was ruined by his laugh

"Sorry, Jack." Daniel didn't sound in the least repentant. "Where do burps come from anyway?"

"How about you ask Doc Janet that when you see her?" Jack handed their passes to the guard

"Have a good day, Colonel O'Neill, Doct...Daniel." The guard handed back their passes and waved them through

"I wish I could come to work with you every day, Jack." Daniel sighed as he waited for Jack to grab his briefcase from the back of the truck

"I wish you could too, Daniel. But you know this is just a special day because you haven't been feeling well and because Doctor Fraiser wants to see you." He studied Daniel as they walked

"I know." Daniel walked with his head down. "I've got lots to learn. That's what they say. I'm working hard, Jack. Working hard for you."

"I know you are, buddy." Jack nodded

This felt right, coming to work with Daniel at his side. He couldn't let himself get used to it, not when Carter wasn't making any progress with Wepwawet's device, not when they were unable to reach the Nox or the Tok'ra. Believing there would be a miracle would just make it harder when there wasn't one

Daniel waved to people they passed on the way to the elevator

"Can I push the buttons, Jack?" Daniel's long fingers hovered over the buttons for a moment before Jack nodded. Jack ignored the groans of some of the other passengers as Daniel pushed them all

* * * * * * * * * *

"Colonel, I think it will be best if we wait until Doctor Fraiser is available to see Daniel." Doctor Warner smiled apologetically

Daniel was currently trying to hide behind Jack, hard to do when Jack was only two inches taller. Jack nodded with a sigh. Daniel had evidently had his fill of doctors in the past month and wasn't going to let any other doctor see him besides Fraiser

Jack had a meeting with the Peronians in less than fifteen minutes and he had no idea what he was going to do with Daniel for that time. Carter and Teal'c were both needed at the treaty signing and he doubted Daniel would go with anyone else. He and Janet had picked this time for the appointment so Daniel would be in her care during Jack's meeting. He'd forgotten that emergencies were going to take precedence

"Come on, Daniel." Jack left the infirmary, making plans. Daniel had his backpack. Surely he could leave him in his office while he met with the delegation from Peronia

"Daniel, listen to me." Jack pulled out the chair to his desk. "I have to go to a meeting and you are going to need to stay here while I'm at it. You can color and draw me some pictures. You have your Lego's, right?"

Daniel looked at him in alarm. "Alone, Jack?"

"Alone, Daniel. You can't come along and Doc Janet is busy." Jack began backing out of the office

"No." Daniel shook his head, bolting for Jack. "Don't leave me here."

Daniel followed him into the hallway nearly in tears. "I can come with you, Jack. I'll be real, real quiet. You won't know I'm there. You can't leave me alone. I'll get lost."

"Daniel," Jack began, looking at his watch. Five minutes and he needed to be in the gateroom. "Please."

"Colonel? Is there a problem?" General Hammond asked and Jack wondered briefly if someone had called him to Jack's office

"No sir, I mean, yes sir." Jack ran a hand through his hair

"Jack said I've got to stay alone," Daniel confided to Hammond. "I don't want to. I don't want to be alone."

"Of course you don't," Hammond agreed. "The Peronian delegation, Colonel?" He fixed his eyes on Jack

"Yes sir." Jack began to explain the situation, stopped by General Hammond's raised hand

"Bring Daniel to my office, Jack. I'm sure we'll get along just fine." Hammond smiled at both of them and continued his walk down the hall

"Get your backpack, Daniel. Looks like you're going to get to visit the general while I'm in my meeting."

"Not alone, Jack?" Daniel asked, searching Jack's face for reassurance

"Not alone, Daniel." Jack breathed a sigh of relief and hoped that the general was up for a few hours of Daniel guarding

* * * * *

"Daniel?" Jack led the other man into General Hammond's office. "I'll be back soon, and no," he raised a hand to stem the inevitable question, "you can't come along. There wouldn't be anything there for you to do." Jack studied Daniel's face, his own frown appearing at Daniel's downcast expression. It was so damn unfair. By all rights Daniel should be at the meeting. He was the one who had established the first contact with the Peronians four months ago. It had been Daniel's interest in and understanding of their culture that had allowed other teams to visit the planet. It had been Daniel's careful and slow negotiations that had persuaded the Peronians that the Tau'ri were their allies, not their enemies. The brief discussion that SG-1, minus Daniel, and General Hammond held yesterday with the ambassador had the man expressing his deep concern for Daniel. He agreed that the delegation would come to Earth with permission instead of expecting SG-1 to travel off world

"Hey," Jack put a finger under Daniel's chin. "I'll be back, I promise. Not long."

Daniel nodded and looked shyly at the general

"You sit right there and don't bother General Hammond." Jack pointed to a chair and Daniel left Jack's side reluctantly, sitting in the chair and holding his backpack close

"I'll be real good," Daniel nodded

"Why don't you pull that chair over here, son?" Hammond motioned for Daniel to move his chair

Daniel looked quizzically at Jack to Hammond and back to Jack

"Jack?" he asked as he finished moving the chair. "He called me son. Isn't he too old to be my daddy?"

Jack had to turn away to smother the laughter he felt bubbling up inside. He just knew when he turned back those guileless blue eyes would be fixed on him

He turned back, not sure exactly what he was going to say to Daniel. General Hammond was smiling himself, his eyes twinkling with amusement

"You go on to your meeting, Colonel. Daniel and I are going to get along just fine."

"Yes sir." Jack saluted and turned on his heel, hoping that this plan wasn't going to end in disaster. He paused, hand on the door, unable to resist one last peek

Daniel had his pack on the general's desk, pulling out its contents and explaining each one to a bemused Hammond

"These are my crayons. Jack got them for me. Lots and lots of colors, and this is Lumpy." The stuffed camel was placed carefully on the desk. "He doesn't want to be alone, like me. You can hug him if you want to, he likes hugs. And this is my paper. Jack gives me lots of paper. He said here Daniel, may as well use this, it's a just a bunch of yadda yadda anyway. What's yadda yadda?"

Jack ran a hand over his face and tried to hurriedly close the door

"Jack gave you memos to write on?" Hammond's voice rose and Jack felt laser eyes on him

"I only used the back. See?" Daniel eagerly showed the paper to Hammond. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no, Daniel. Nothing wrong. It's okay," Hammond reassured the anxious man. "Now how about you show me some more of these pictures? You've really been busy haven't you?"

Jack closed the door in relief and straightened, getting ready to meet the Peronians

* * * * *

"Perhaps the Ambassador and his delegation would enjoy partaking of the food our commissary has prepared, O'Neill," Teal'c murmured

Jack nodded. He stood and stretched, smiling at the Peronian ambassador and his two aides. "Ambassador Issarla, would you care to join us in some refreshments?"

"We would enjoy it immensely, Leader Jack." He stood and motioned for his two aides to do likewise. "We will speak with Scientist Samantha for a time. She has shown an interest in our recent experiments with naqadah."

Jack smiled and excused himself, understanding the implicit dismissal. He knocked on Hammond's door, entering at the general's response to enter

"Hi, Jack!" Daniel looked up from his position on the floor where he was currently showing General Hammond his collection of Legos. "Grandpa George and me are playing. Can you play too?"

Jack shook his head. "Sorry, Daniel. I still have stuff to do in my meeting," Daniel's nickname for Hammond only beginning to register with him

"I used to have a Grandpa Nick, did you know that Jack? But he went away. He wanted to explore. I told Grandpa George about it. He said he'd be my grandpa if I wanted him to." Daniel stopped his rapid-fire explanation to look at both men. "He's pretty nice, isn't he, Jack?"

Jack smiled at Daniel. "Yeah, yeah he is, Daniel." Jack stood a moment longer watching Daniel play with his Legos and then turned to the general. "Sir, I..."

"Don't you have a meeting to attend, Colonel?"

"He's not being any trouble is he? Because I can always..."

"Go, Colonel O'Neill. That's an order."

From the floor, Daniel snickered. "And if you come back, Grandpa George will make you go to the time out chair. Right?" He grinned at Hammond

"Right, Daniel. Now let Daniel and I get on with our business. We have important things to take care of."

"Bye, Jack." Daniel was busily showing Lumpy his newest Lego creation, not even bothering to look at Jack

"Are you sure..."

"The door, Colonel? Now go," Hammond ordered

"Yes sir." Jack sighed as he exited the office. Guess he wasn't needed after all. He wiped a hand over his face as he made his way back to the briefing room

Two hours later, the treaty signed by all parties, Ambassador Issarla stood in the Gateroom with Jack, Carter, and Teal'c. Carter was still talking to Issarla's two aides, writing something in a notebook as they spoke

"Leader Jack, you will convey our greetings to Speaker Daniel? On our world the head-touched are considered very precious."

Jack bowed his head in acknowledgement, wishing the same could be said on Earth, thinking of the children who were pulled out of Daniel's way when Jack and he went to the park, the strange looks people gave when Daniel and he went to the supermarket. Not that everyone did it. There were people that understood, Jack knew. It was just those who didn't that you remembered

"He is very precious to me," Jack finally said

"He has special gifts, Leader Jack. If you ever need someone to care for him, when you no longer can, you may send Speaker Daniel to us. We would see that he is well cared for, that he is happy and understood."

"Thank you, Ambassador." Jack smiled. "I am beginning to understand that he is a blessing. It's taken awhile. But yes, I am beginning to understand."

The familiar sound of the chevrons engaging had them all looking towards the gate

"We wish you well," Issarla bowed to Jack

"As we do you," Jack intoned in the traditional Peronian farewell. He stood watching the small delegation go through the wormhole and then nearly ran to General Hammond's office, his need to see that Daniel was safe and happy overwhelming

"General Hammond said you're to go right in, sir." Hammond's aide looked up from his computer monitor. "And sir?"

"Yes, Robbins?"

"It sounded like both of them were having a lot of fun in there." Captain Robbins smiled

"Thanks, Robbins," Jack nodded, opening the door to his commanding officer's office, and felt his face break into a grin

Daniel was seated behind Hammond's desk, in the general's chair no less, his tall figure hunched over and industriously drawing. The general himself was seated on the opposite side of the desk, having just a small corner to do his paperwork on

"Oh, hi, Jack. I'm drawing." Daniel glanced up at Jack a moment and then returned his attention back to his picture. "Grandpa George says I draw real good. Right, Grandpa George?" Daniel gave one of his room-lighting smiles to the general

"That's right, Daniel."

"You can sit down, Jack. I have to finish this picture." Daniel motioned towards another chair. "I'm not ready yet."

The ringing of the red phone had all of them jumping a few moments later. Despite Hammond's efforts, Daniel had the phone before anyone else could grab it

"Hi, this is Grandpa George's office. I'm Daniel. Who are you?"

"Daniel, give the gen..General Hamm...Grandpa George the phone." Why oh why did Jack have the feeling this was going to end in disaster

"Jack, I'm busy talking. Don't interrupt," Daniel scolded. He turned to face Hammond. "He says he's the president. Do you know him, Grandpa George?" He didn't wait for an answer, getting back to the phone. "What's a president? Is that someone who calls while you're busy? I'm drawing pictures. I'm a good drawer."

Daniel nodded, totally ignoring Jack's desperate attempts to get the phone receiver from him. "Grandpa George can't talk right now. He's busy playing with me. He'll talk to you when he's done, okay? Bye."

Daniel hung up the phone to the dismay of the two men who stood open mouthed. He smiled up at them. "He won't bother us anymore."

"Daniel!" Jack groaned. "Sir, I'm sorry. Daniel, you have to apologize to Grandpa George."

"Did I do something bad?" Daniel looked puzzled

"The president is my boss, son," Hammond explained. "He only calls me when he has something important to tell me."

"Oh," Daniel looked at his papers. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again. Will you still let me come and play with you?"

Hammond nodded as Jack slowly gathered up Daniel's Legos, crayons, and Lumpy. "Yes, Daniel. You can still come and play with me. I think the president will understand when I explain that I was playing with my friend."

"That's good." Daniel came out from behind the desk, carrying two pictures. "These are for you, Grandpa George. They're very special."

Hammond took the pictures from an anxious Daniel. "I can see that. I'm going to hang them up right over there." General Hammond pointed to a filing cabinet. "Then I can look at them everyday and think of the fun we had today."

He rocked back as Daniel threw enthusiastic arms around him. "I love you, Grandpa George."

Jack held Daniel's backpack tightly, ready to apologize once more for Daniel's answering the phone. But Hammond looked over at him, a sad smile on his face and a suspicious brightness in his eyes

"I love you, too, Daniel." Hammond patted the younger man's shoulder

"Thank you," Jack mouthed before Daniel turned

"The pleasure was all mine," Hammond answered, hiding his emotions with a cough

"C'mon, Daniel. Let's go." Jack motioned towards the door right as the phone began to ring again

Daniel's hand snaked out, intercepted by a quicker Jack. "Not this time, Daniel. Let General Hammond speak to his boss."

Daniel nodded. "Tell Mister President I said hi."

"I'll be sure to do that," Hammond said as he put the receiver to his ear. "Hello, sir. Yes, well, it's a long story."

Jack stretched under of the warmth of the blanket covering his body. Without forethought, he instinctually reached for his lover and with a physical ache, reality came crashing through the cusps of his dreams. He was alone; there was no one sharing his bed except memories

With a sigh, Jack got out of bed, steeling himself for the start of another day

Morning ritual complete, Jack ran through their plans as he descended the stairs into the living room. "Daniel?" he called out nervously. The house was quiet, Daniel's usual chatter conspicuously absent, the drone of the television nonexistent

Heart pounding his chest, Jack retraced his steps back to the bedrooms taking the stairs two at a time. "Dan...," Throwing open the bedroom door, Jack's anxiety softened when he caught sight of Daniel sleeping, sprawled across the bed. One arm hugging the pillow under his head, the other curled tightly against his chest, clutching the stuffed camel

Daniel and Lumpy, sketched by Ximeria

Jack stood in the doorway, afraid to take a step towards the slumbering body, not wishing to disturb Daniel's relative peace. His sleep patterns were horrible; the shadows under Daniel's eyes darkening as his nightmares increased, forcing him awake the majority of nights. Last night it hadn't been the nightmares that had awakened first Daniel and then Jack; the coughing and sneezing had done that. He remembered asking Daniel the last time he had taken his allergy medication. "I forgot something again, Jack?" was Daniel's plaintive question. Jack regained his mental footing, reassuring Daniel that it was something he had forgotten, and apologized. Jack had located a blister pack of Daniel's allergy medication and he had taken the pills from Jack, finished the glass of water, and allowed Jack to fluff his pillows and tuck him in

"Stay?"

"Of course, Daniel," Jack replied, sitting at the edge of the bed. Listening as Daniel's breathing eased with the medication, Jack stayed long after Daniel had fallen asleep

Obviously the medication had alleviated Daniel's allergy attack and aided him in gaining the sleep his body was so desperately craving. he backed out of the room slowly, closing the door behind him

* * * * *

Jack made himself a simple breakfast of toast and coffee, the morning paper his only companion at the table. Jack felt out of sorts in the solitude of his own house gladly admitting that he missed Daniel's exuberance within these four walls. After refilling his coffee mug, Jack entered the living room with the desire to start a fire. The Colorado day was damp and rainy, dreary and cold, creating an uncomfortable chill in the house

"Daniel?" Jack's voice was filled with concern as he glimpsed the forlorn figure standing before the picture windows in the living room. Placing the coffee mug on the end table, Jack physically forced Daniel to turn and face him. The shadows under the eyes had lightened, but the blue orbs reflected utter devastation

"It's raining...I didn't want it to rain," he whined. "We were gonna go the zoo...and have a picnic and fly a kite and..."

"I know, Danny. " He audibly sighed, confirming Daniel's observation. "The weather didn't cooperate and I'm disappointed as well." Jack leaned forward, gently pushing Daniel's glasses back up his nose. "Need to get these fixed before you lose them."

"Today, Jack?"

"No, not today. Today is an inside day." Jack thought wildly, floundering in a decision on what could be done to soothe a disappointed Daniel and keep his active mind busy

Jack checked his watch, confirming what he already knew. "It's late for breakfast...how about we do things a little backwards today. Instead of a bath tonight...take one now..."

"Now? It's not dark Jack. I take baths when it's dark." Jack's heart melted as Daniel smiled at the ludicrous suggestion of bathing in the middle of the morning

Jack walked up the stairs, continuing to mentally outline his plan, Daniel close at his heels. "With bubbles Jack. I need bubbles...not too hot. You know I don't like...Baby Bear I want it just right."

Daniel laughter echoed in the tiled bathroom as Jack bowed before him. "Your wish is my command."

"You're funny today, Jack." Daniel giggled as he added a generous squeeze of bubbles to the bath, putting his hand under the faucet. Daniel nodded his head. "Just right."

While the water filled the tub, Jack sat Daniel down on the closed toilet seat. This was an out of body experience for Jack, something that he had literally closed off from himself, refusing to allow himself to feel and remember. Daniel wasn't astute enough to comprehend the smile on Jack's face was forced, his body mannerisms stiff and uncompromising

Jack carefully removed Daniel's glasses, folding them, placing them gently on the rim of the sink. Even Daniel's eye-lighting smile couldn't break through Jack's shell of self preservation

"The tickle machine?"

Not being able to trust his voice, Jack just nodded. Daniel closed his eyes, Jack guided Daniel's head until his chin rested in the cup of Jack's left hand. Jack flicked the switch and began to shave Daniel by rote. This was one necessary task that Jack had a problem facing. Visions of sharing simple pleasures came unbidden to his mind. Bathroom morning rituals...Daniel's voice thankfully cut through Jack's daydreams

"Can I put on the good smelling stuff like you wear? The kind that always makes Sam go ...hmmmm good?"

Clearing his throat to find his voice, Jack produced a small, harsh laugh. "So Carter thinks I smell good, huh?" He turned away from Daniel, blinking hard to clear the bathroom steam from his eyes. "Sure. Bath is almost ready...how about sweats today, socks, no shoes."

Pulling his shirt over his head, Daniel's voice was muffled as he answered Jack. "Comfy, inside day?"

Jack stepped forward helping Daniel. "Great description, Danny. Comfy inside day, I kinda like that."

* * * * *

The remnants of their indoor picnic were still spread in front of the fire. Daniel's excitement when he saw the quilt, complete with picnic basket on the living room floor, had been infectious. Jack had left Daniel enjoying the contents of the wicker basket and went upstairs to prepare the second surprise for Daniel. Cleaning the tub and then refilling it, Jack waited until he deemed the water level would be appropriate before turning off the flow and rejoining Daniel downstairs

"Finished?" Jack asked noticing that Daniel had begun to play with his food as opposed to eating it

Daniel nodded yes, placing his plate containing the uneaten portion of food on the blanket

Jack stood, reaching out a hand and hauling the younger man to his feet

"Another surprise?"

"Yeahsureyabetcha."

* * * * *

Sitting next to Daniel on the couch, Jack noted that Daniel's sweat pants were pock marked with water spots. The gray pants were still damp from their little "fishing" expedition in the bathtub. Using an old, plastic toy rod and reel, complete with little fishes, Daniel's laughter had reverberated throughout the bathroom while he fished into the oversized tub. Both men had slid their sweatpants to their knees, taking turns trying to reel in the multicolored fish

And Daniel was still laughing as he and Jack were sitting on the couch watching a video. One of Daniel's choices...Daniel's day. So Toy Story 2 was showing on the television, Daniel's happiness and contentment an emotion that flowed easily into Jack

Glancing at Daniel's profile, wondering if his Daniel had ever been this content. Laughter had usually been a mere chuckle, or a wide smile...but this...this belly laughter had not been part of Daniel's repertoire. A sudden lump appeared in Jack's throat, making breathing difficult. Without thought, his hand went up to smooth Daniel's errant cowlick. This person sitting on the couch...this was his Daniel now

Daniel's laughter had turned to yawns through the second showing of Toy Story It wasn't late in the day, but Jack was thankful for any sleep that Daniel's exhausted body was willing to take. Placing a couch pillow on his lap, he patted it as an unspoken invitation for Daniel to lie down. He turned towards Jack, a confused expression on his face. "Sleep?"

Jack removed Daniel's glasses, placing them on the table. "Yes Daniel...sleep."

"But it's still day. I don't sleep in the day."

Jack had to laugh at Daniel's argument. Blue eyes, heavy lidded with fatigue, he was going to fight Jack every step of the way. "It's a crazy day. Bath during the day, picnic...fishing..."

"An inside, comfy day," Daniel murmured, giving into Jack's reasoning and sliding down the couch. He rested his head on the proffered pillow with a heavy sigh. Jack leaned one arm on the side bolster of the couch, the other he laid on Daniel's shoulder, subconsciously kneading the muscles

"Safe."

Gentle squeezing the shoulder, Jack repeated, "Safe. Yes, Daniel, you're safe."

"Protect this part of me. Please?" Daniel squirmed as Jack tightened his hold

"Daniel, what are you talking about?"

"This isn't all of me. Find me." Jack's hand stilled

Heart thudding painfully within his ribcage. Jack shook Daniel's shoulder. "Wake up...you're having a nightmare."

Daniel turned on his back, opening his eyes slowly. "No nightmare...safe with you. No monsters in the closet, or glowy eyed people...you protect me. Safe." Daniel offered Jack a small smile before turning back onto his side and returning to sleep

* * * * *

Jack awoke with a start, aware that the warm body under his hand was no longer there. Righting himself so fast that the room swam before him, the flushing of the toilet registered through his sleep-addled brain; mentally exhaling a sigh of relief as to the obvious whereabouts of one errant archeo...five year old. The VCR clock confirmed the lateness of the day as Jack stood, stretching out sleep-stiffened muscles

Daniel shuffled into the room, sans socks, sweatpants askew, hair sticking up in every direction. Squashing down a smile and the question of Daniel's ability to remember to wash his hands, Jack settled on asking about Daniel's sleep

"Safe," was the only word Daniel was able to use to describe his 3 hour nap, before the rest of his sentence was swallowed by a sneeze, followed by a wheeze-filled cough

Jack guided him to the chair in the kitchen, placing before Daniel a glass of apple juice and two allergy relief pills. "Drink, swallow..." he commanded. Daniel acquiesced without argument, much to Jack's satisfaction

"I'm hungry."

"Pizza?"

"MMMM, pizza...okay." Daniel's eyes followed Jack around the kitchen as he gathered kitchen utensils and ingredients onto the counter. "Jack, the telephone brings pizza."

Facing Daniel, leaning against the counter. "Not today Danny. We're going to make our own."

* * * * *

Though a success and delicious, the pizza making experiment warranted a hosing down of the kitchen and another bath for Daniel. Both of them covered in flour, Jack was just finishing cleaning the last of their dinner party when he heard Daniel descend the staircase

"Set up the game board on the table, I'm almost done...I'll join you in a minute. 'K?"

"All right," Daniel answered

* * * * *

"What did you do, Daniel?" Jack hissed, his stomach clenching painfully, swallowing to prevent the recently eaten dinner from making a repeat performance

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." The hopeful glance fading in the wake of Jack's reaction "I'll clean it up...I didn't mean..."

"No, Danny, I'm sorry...I thought a rousing game of Chutes and Ladders. I didn't quite expect, I didn't realize that you could...chess." Wanly smiling down at Daniel, Jack plopped himself down in the seat across from the again smiling Daniel

Jack played by rote, his brain still making an attempt to register the fact that Daniel had set the board up correctly; the correct pieces in the correct spots, the white pieces on one side, the black on the other. Both queens and kings in their respective spots, all the pawns...

Exasperation was apparent in Daniel's voice as he reprimanded Jack's next move. "No Jack, you can't move that there because my horsie will eat up your lady, and then the pointy one will get your guy with the crown if I do this. Are you even paying attention?" Shocked, Jack looked down and realized that Daniel was two moves from checkmate

"Danny...I..."

"If you didn't wanna play, I understand. If you wanted to play Chutes and Ladders, that was okay. But you always win at that game, and I wanted to play something I could win at..."

"No, I'm sorry. This is fine...I'm just..."

"Not paying attention?" Daniel's accusatory glance over his the rim of his glasses brought back memories too painful to rehash right now. "Wanna try again?"

"Sure."

Jack watched as Daniel set up the pieces and Jack began to supply the names as Daniel found their homes on the chessboard. "Rook, knight, king, queen, pawn, bishop..."

"You go first, Jack."

And Jack did...and he played like his life depended on those wooden pieces. Daniel beat him two games in a row and Jack was going for whumping number three when he noticed Daniel's yawn while setting up the pawns

"Bedtime for Bonzo, Spacemonkey. Come on. Leave the pieces like they are; we can play tomorrow."

* * * * *

Jack turned off the lights, the nightlight casting a glow to the room, affording Jack enough illumination to see that Daniel was truly asleep. He adjusted the blanket around the Daniel's sprawled form, resting his hand lightly on Daniel's forehead, softly whispering, 'good job,' when his hand came in contact with cool skin. Every night he prayed for uninterrupted sleep, the majority of time, his prayers went unanswered. Jack gently shut the door behind him hoping that tonight someone was listening to his prayers, for Daniel's sake, as well as his own

In the kitchen he checked the time and picked up the phone, dialing the now familiar number without thought

"Doc? No...no Daniel's fine." Jack propped the phone between his shoulder and chin as he went to retrieve a beer from he fridge. "I just have a question..." Jack repeated to Fraiser Daniel's ability to play chess, remembering the moves, and his forgetfulness with regard to the names of the pieces

Jack cringed. "That's horrible terminology, they really refer to it as ...yes I understand...it just sounds like. I understand...no I'm sure someone at the Center could explain it to me. No...no...I'd prefer not to subject Daniel to any more testing. Thanks...say hello to Cassie for Daniel and me, okay? Night."

Jack hung up the phone with a deep sigh of exasperation, placing his unopened bottle of beer on the table, he went to collect his notebook. Writing 'idiot savant' on the next available blank page, he underlined it before slamming the book shut. Baptism by fire...words and a language that not so long ago were as foreign to him as Sanskrit. Now he knew the names of tests and scores and what they stood for...a knowledge he would rather have done without

* * * * * * * * * *

Jack sat on the recliner, the remote in his right hand, the ice cold bottle of beer gripped in his left. He hunkered down, settling his ass into the well worn groove of the leather chair, eyes glued to the hockey game playing out on the TV Daniel had been sleeping comfortably the last time Jack checked and he allowed his body to relax for the first time today

The beer finished Jack placed the empty on the table, contemplating and then dismissing the urge for another. By the time the hockey game went into overtime, the TV was broadcasting to a slumbering Colonel

Screams of anguish and pain cut through the levels of Jack's sleep. A moment of disorientation of being home or on a mission caused Jack to pause before throwing the recliner into an upright position. On and on they went, no pause for breathing, increasing in pitch as Jack bounded up the stairs two at a time. He threw open the bedroom door and made an attempt to pull a shaking Daniel into his arms

"No, no, no, no, no. Don't touch me." Daniel's eyes were opened, unseeing as he pushed himself away from Jack's embrace

Jack threw his hands up in surrender. "Daniel?" A touch to Daniel's forearm resulted in Jack having to ward off a punch thrown in his direction. Jack grabbed both of Daniel's forearms, giving the younger man a shake. "Wake up, Daniel! Damn it, wake up!"

Daniel paused, blinking a few times, eyes focusing on Jack's face. Before Jack could brace himself, Daniel launched his body into Jack's arms, his screams fading to sobs. Even through the sweat soaked tee shirt, Jack could feel the heat of fever

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry," Daniel sobbed into Jack's shoulder. "I would never. Believe me...but it hurt so much and I was afraid."

"Shh. Danny, it was just a nightmare." Jack patted Daniel's back, cupping the back of his head, rocking the younger man gently until the sobs lessened, turning to ragged breathing. Jack disengaged Daniel from his body, smoothing the hair back off his forehead, wiping residual tears with his thumbs. "It's okay, Daniel, you're safe."

Daniel's face crumbled at those words, tears again flowing unrestrained down his cheeks. "But you weren't, Jack. I was trying to hurt you. In a dark place. It hurt so bad, and you wouldn't let me go back to the box. And I hurt...and I tried to hurt you. My bestest friend...and I wanted to hurt you."

Jack placed a finger under Daniel's chin, pushing it up until Daniel was making eye contact with Jack. "It's a nightmare, nothing else, Danny. See." Jack opened his arms. "I'm fine...in one piece. You would never hurt me."

"But I wanted to...I shot a gun...and the lights went off...and I was so scared...and, and, and..." Daniel began to stutter, hiccupping as he drew a breath Jack placed a finger against Daniel's lips

"No more. Nightmare...that's it. You have a fever..."

"My head hurts..."

"I know, that's the fever. Here you go. " Jack pushed the pillows against the headboard, indicating with a wave of his hand that Daniel shou